Find meaning and purpose: tips to get started

This gull lives and breathes its meaning
and purpose... 

For years, self-help advice said follow your passion. Thankfully, for those of us unclear about what that might actually be, there's another way to think about how to create a life we love (read this, or this).  

What we're learning now that's proving more important: bring passion to whatever we're doing, wherever we happen to be, rather than waiting to discover what we're passionate about or fretting about why we don't have one.  

After meeting our hierarchy of basic needs, what humans truly crave is autonomy, meaning, and purpose (so says Daniel Pink in Drive), not necessarily passion for something specific.  

I've always loved the phenomenally classic Auntie Mame quote, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." I took it as a directive to bring passion to everything. 

Engaging with what we're doing, in the moment, has the potential to fill us with both meaning and passion. If nothing else, it makes life a lot more interesting. And, that said, our humanity sometimes works against us, though... we're hardwired to be cautious. So if you need some ideas to find more meaning and purpose, I've listed some ideas below.    

Follow your curiosity

What makes you go huh...? Or hmmm...? Clues come from what you're reading, listening to, or watching. What about those appeal to you? 

What or who do you want to know more about? Who or what do you envy? What would you study or where would you travel if means and time were available?  

Perhaps you're curious about brain science, like I am, but not willing or able to be a neuroscientist. If you're curious, you may have a latent talent for something related... I'll never be a neuroscientist, but I love coaching and how the latest research in brain science applies to personal development and human potential. 

Check your checkbook 

Our bank and credit card statements are insightful; they document what we care about. What do you buy, who or what do you donate to, and how are you entertained? Does how you spend your money align with your values?  

Perhaps you care about our warming planet. What do you eat? How do you shop? I used to be a mindless shopper, filling an emotional void, until I recognized the pattern. I also care deeply about my health, growing up in a family with numerous lifestyle conditions, so buying healthy food and supporting farm-to-table dining are ways I find meaning.    

Notice when you're angry   

Author, entrepreneur, and funder (and acquaintance) Nathalie Molina Nino wrote in her book  Leapfrog that we should forget about finding our passion and instead find something we want to punch. What makes us most angry may be great opportunities to explore: for work, new ventures, or volunteering.  

You'll also find big clues here about what's meaningful and purposeful for you.  

Test the waters 

When we find meaning and purpose, we find our passions—often right where we are. Fascinated by something, but never tried it? Test it. It's through doing that we build confidence, gain experience, get excited, and yes, find passion.  

Maybe you'd love to own a bakery one day; time disappears when you're baking cookies, bread, or specialty desserts. A bakery may not be feasible, but what gets you closer? These days, we have so many options, like starting a microbusiness using the magic of technology.  

Given today's economics, a side hustle is both easy and a good idea. If you need ideas or a how-to guide, Portland's world-traveling Chris Guillebeau is a go-to resource. 

The founder of Seattle's line-out-the-door Hot Cakes started selling that chocolate gooey goodness at the local farmers market. Now she has two brick-and-mortars and recently opened two vegan ice cream shops. They run themselves while she travels and surfs. 

Small steps are better than no steps. 

Know your why

Knowing why you're doing something can keep you on track when what you're doing feels hard. Not sure about your why? Ask why five or seven times until you get your answer.   

Simon Sinek's Start with Why is one of the most popular TEDTalks ever. And it makes sense... why you do something can make all the difference.

It matters 

A colleague recently suggested we should make 2020 the year of the side hustle. If nothing else, we'll add more meaning and purpose. We may make more money. We might just find our passion. And remember: Where focus goes, energy flows.

Meaning and purpose have staying power; passion sometimes fizzles. Man's Search for Meaning author Viktor Frankl believed meaning and purpose, not passion, were essential to survival, and if anyone could attest, he could.  



If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to subscribe (see right column), share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here. 

How good can you stand it?

My idea of bliss

My cousins and I met this morning for our semi-annual Christmas breakfast at Fishermen's Terminal. Pondering the lengthy menu, we all noted we don't eat much for breakfast these days, but it was still a good idea. It's not quite a tradition but gives us quality time together, a rare thing these days. 

There were fewer of us this year. Over warm citrus scones, we reflected on our family. One cousin recently turned 60, and we noted how she's now lived longer than her mom and two sisters—gone before they turned 60.   

We acknowledged how grateful we are. We're generally healthy in mind and body, working, and in relationships that work for us. And we weren't cursed with addictive or destructive patterns like some who prematurely left this plane. What a gift.  


Creating more good

We're now in the throes of the holiday season... a time for giving as well as receiving. While I consume less than I used to, I find joy in finding just the right gift for someone I care about. And, I find giving so much easier than receiving. Part of emotional growth is learning to accept a gift graciously, even or especially when not reciprocated, whether it's a wrapped package, a compliment, or an act of kindness.  

What helped? Understanding the law of circulation: it feels good to give, which has a ripple effect, and if we give and don't receive, we'll get depleted.  

Acknowledging our good

Whether a daily gratitude practice or just counting your blessings as you see them, good begets good. As is true for most of us, my life is hardly perfect, but it's the hard things that ultimately make it better. Moving through a challenge, diving into a problem, navigating a hurdle... those bring meaning and purpose to our lives.  

When we know this, our lives get better. How you ever said, "I'll be happy when..." or "I'll be happy if..." It's a never-ending pursuit, and rarely brings happiness. 

Happiness is right here, right now; we choose. If it's elusive, look at how you fill your time, who you spend it with, and your expectations. You might find clues. 

Good perspective 

Many of us look back at the year in December. Radio stations play top songs, writers and readers share book lists, newspapers review top stories. Before setting goals or intentions, it's useful to take stock. 

• What worked well for you this last year? 
• What are you most proud of? 
• What do you want more of that you started? 
• Are there lessons you learned from what didn't work? 

Please don't lament or shame yourself if you didn't achieve your desires; it's easy to be optimistic about what we can accomplish and forget to account for real-life twists and turns. Look for what you learned instead.  

How much good...? 

So... How much good do you want in your life? What brings you meaning? How would it feel live in bliss? Do you know what this looks or feels like?   

For me: outside, in the woods or on the water. Sometimes in meditation or when I reflect and write my gratitude lists. Spending time with people I love. Diving deep into something new. Laughing. ...   

Bliss is fleeting but so delightful as it melts into contentment. 

Define it. See it. Create it. Own it. And when you can, just be it.  


If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to subscribe (see right column), share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here. 

Grow your mind, body and spirit

Change is all there is

If you've ever been hit over the head with a two-by-four, figurative or literal, you know it hurts. And sadly, the hit of the proverbial kind often takes more than one to get our attention. Ideally, we learn and stay out of harms way the next time.  

That proverbial hit has happened to me more often than I care to admit—major moves, job changes, relationship trauma—but thankfully, I can also say I've experienced what the experts now call post-traumatic growth (a term I'm still not sure I like, even though I get the value of it). When we learn from events that cause what most of us know as PTSD, we develop new coping skills, grow our emotional intelligence, and ideally, grow our mind, body and spirit. 

To do this, though, we must be willing to shift our mindset. Most of us are more prone to be victims of our circumstances, rather than to view what happens as opportunities to grow. 

Blueprint for growth and change

Over the last week, I watched a five-part series called Transcendence, Live Life Beyond the Ordinary. The show is a comprehensive blueprint for change, challenging knowledge and beliefs pervasive throughout our north American culture. During one interview, Sean Stephenson, author of the international best seller Get Off Your 'But' asked himself after yet another fall, 'why him' and 'why again' when he broke more bones. Sean, who was born with a rare bone disorder, grew to just three feet and wasn't expected to live, is an extraordinarily accomplished human—because at one point, he changed his mindset.  

A few things he shared: 

• having a dream is more important than achieving a dream
• when something is upsetting or unfair, he's too zoomed in; he suggests zooming out and changing perspective—this isn't happening TO me, but FOR me
• ask, "what can I learn from this?"

While this post doesn't even remotely do justice to the show, which I highly recommend to anyone who's interested in living a more intentional, empowered life, here are a few other gems from this episode:

• To be fulfilled, apply effort now, enjoy pleasure later; to be gratified, seek pleasure now, but pay later
• Be an unrealistic human being; these are the people who chart the course for the rest of us (think Jobs, Bezos, et al)
• If we're unsure of our purpose, look at the pains we experienced as children and explore the gifts those pains may have provided us; these pains may lead us to what we're passionate about and where we feel purposeful 

To have a fulfilling life, there are three types of worthy pursuits: 

1. decide what experiences you want to have in your life
2. ask yourself and then list how you want to grow and evolve
3. consider where you want to make a difference and how you'll give back to the world... 

Reap the rewards... 

From Transcendence... 

I don't want to be hit upside the head again, so I actively work to grow mind, body, and spirit, and facilitate change when I know something isn't working anymore. I've felt that blow enough, and while tremendous good has come from each, I'd rather learn sooner and reap, not pay, big dividends. 

How about you? Feeling any change afoot? Areas where something no longer serves you? Know what you need to do but aren't yet willing to do it? My suggestion is to get on it, or it'll get on you. Seriously. 

Life is about change, and change is good. Without it, we'd all be stagnant, boring, and bored. Who wants that? 

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I also have two openings available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.