Find meaning and purpose: tips to get started

This gull lives and breathes its meaning
and purpose... 

For years, self-help advice said follow your passion. Thankfully, for those of us unclear about what that might actually be, there's another way to think about how to create a life we love (read this, or this).  

What we're learning now that's proving more important: bring passion to whatever we're doing, wherever we happen to be, rather than waiting to discover what we're passionate about or fretting about why we don't have one.  

After meeting our hierarchy of basic needs, what humans truly crave is autonomy, meaning, and purpose (so says Daniel Pink in Drive), not necessarily passion for something specific.  

I've always loved the phenomenally classic Auntie Mame quote, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." I took it as a directive to bring passion to everything. 

Engaging with what we're doing, in the moment, has the potential to fill us with both meaning and passion. If nothing else, it makes life a lot more interesting. And, that said, our humanity sometimes works against us, though... we're hardwired to be cautious. So if you need some ideas to find more meaning and purpose, I've listed some ideas below.    

Follow your curiosity

What makes you go huh...? Or hmmm...? Clues come from what you're reading, listening to, or watching. What about those appeal to you? 

What or who do you want to know more about? Who or what do you envy? What would you study or where would you travel if means and time were available?  

Perhaps you're curious about brain science, like I am, but not willing or able to be a neuroscientist. If you're curious, you may have a latent talent for something related... I'll never be a neuroscientist, but I love coaching and how the latest research in brain science applies to personal development and human potential. 

Check your checkbook 

Our bank and credit card statements are insightful; they document what we care about. What do you buy, who or what do you donate to, and how are you entertained? Does how you spend your money align with your values?  

Perhaps you care about our warming planet. What do you eat? How do you shop? I used to be a mindless shopper, filling an emotional void, until I recognized the pattern. I also care deeply about my health, growing up in a family with numerous lifestyle conditions, so buying healthy food and supporting farm-to-table dining are ways I find meaning.    

Notice when you're angry   

Author, entrepreneur, and funder (and acquaintance) Nathalie Molina Nino wrote in her book  Leapfrog that we should forget about finding our passion and instead find something we want to punch. What makes us most angry may be great opportunities to explore: for work, new ventures, or volunteering.  

You'll also find big clues here about what's meaningful and purposeful for you.  

Test the waters 

When we find meaning and purpose, we find our passions—often right where we are. Fascinated by something, but never tried it? Test it. It's through doing that we build confidence, gain experience, get excited, and yes, find passion.  

Maybe you'd love to own a bakery one day; time disappears when you're baking cookies, bread, or specialty desserts. A bakery may not be feasible, but what gets you closer? These days, we have so many options, like starting a microbusiness using the magic of technology.  

Given today's economics, a side hustle is both easy and a good idea. If you need ideas or a how-to guide, Portland's world-traveling Chris Guillebeau is a go-to resource. 

The founder of Seattle's line-out-the-door Hot Cakes started selling that chocolate gooey goodness at the local farmers market. Now she has two brick-and-mortars and recently opened two vegan ice cream shops. They run themselves while she travels and surfs. 

Small steps are better than no steps. 

Know your why

Knowing why you're doing something can keep you on track when what you're doing feels hard. Not sure about your why? Ask why five or seven times until you get your answer.   

Simon Sinek's Start with Why is one of the most popular TEDTalks ever. And it makes sense... why you do something can make all the difference.

It matters 

A colleague recently suggested we should make 2020 the year of the side hustle. If nothing else, we'll add more meaning and purpose. We may make more money. We might just find our passion. And remember: Where focus goes, energy flows.

Meaning and purpose have staying power; passion sometimes fizzles. Man's Search for Meaning author Viktor Frankl believed meaning and purpose, not passion, were essential to survival, and if anyone could attest, he could.  



If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to subscribe (see right column), share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here. 

Of podcasts, passion, and courage

The smart Steller's Jay knows where his
peanuts come from. He's a quick study. 

In today's world, we have endless ways to learn. And many of these are low cost if not free. What's not to love about that?

Online 'universities' like Udemy and Coursera offer a bevy of subjects taught by smart people, usually professionals in a given field. TEDTalks, including their TEDx offshoot, are largely fantastic. Audio books make traditional studying easier to do anywhere. Blogs and podcasts have exploded over the last several years—and there's absolutely nothing you can't find on YouTube, no matter how big or small a topic.

Finding time

Hard to see, but traffic here
is backed up a good mile;
nothing but taillights ahead.

My problem is largely how to choose and making time. Ambitiously, I purchased a handful of Udemy courses for $9.99 each. I haven't yet finished one, but I enjoy the few I've started and they add to my body of knowledge. Thankfully, once purchased, they're yours forever, which is both a blessing and a curse, as I know deadlines are often the driver to get something done.

I'm a new convert to podcasts. Not sure what took me so long, but they make congested commutes much more tolerable, even something to look forward to.

A clue about your passion

However, now that I jumped into that ring, the dilemma is choosing which podcast to listen to. So, as with anything else, I looked for shows that focus on human potential, health, and well-being, those topics that continually fascinate me—which, by the way, is a clue if you're still trying to assess what you're passionate about. What calls you? What do you listen to? What subjects captivate you in books or magazines, or even on TV?

My first podcast was Ryan Niddel's 15 Minutes to Freedom, and when he shifted to his current Optimized Life Show, I followed. (Recommended, and mentioned in previous posts.)

But now with just a few episodes behind me, I'm also hooked on Broken Brain with Dhru Purohit. These are a commitment at nearly an hour-and-a-half per episode.

A visceral response 

An offshoot from the television docu-series Broken Brain, the podcast tackles a wide net of issues related to health, brain health, and all things connecting mind, body, spirit. Recently, in podcast #67, host Purohit interviewed Alex Banayan, the 20-something author of The Third Door, an idea that came to him during his first year of college when he realized he was pursuing his family's dream and not his own.

Banayan was prepping for med school and studying for finals when he had a visceral response to his career path—that big "no, can't do it" kind of visceral response. So instead of studying for finals, he pulled an all-nighter to learn how to hack the game show The Price is Right... and clearly, something was conspiring for his highest and greatest good because not only did he land on the show right away, he won a sailboat, which he sold to fund his writing project.

Dreams come true... with committed, consistent effort 

And now we're all better for it. Over seven years, Banayan inteviewed some of the world's most 'successful' people to learn their 'secrets' to success. A few key takeaways from his story:

• Dreams are worth pursuing. 
• Miracles really can and do happen, but you have to participate. 
• You don't have to know how to get to where you're going. You just have to take the first step, and then the next step. 
• Action is required.
• Your biggest cheerleaders may not be those who know you best; in fact, they may be naysayers. Be careful and mindful who you share your dreams with. 
• Doors are often opened by loose connections, people who don't know you well. 
• We move forward through courage, not fearlessness. There's a big difference. 
• Don't give up. 
• You must know your why... and it has to be bigger than just you. 

Banayan named his own fear "The Flinch"—that feeling he got when his stomach knotted up and nearly stopped him. That fear keeps us from taking risks, from entering into the unknown and the uncomfortable. A way through, however, is knowing why you're doing what you're doing. That bigger why for him was realizing that other people were as curious as he was; it was his curiosity that pulled him toward his project, but it was the idea of helping others that kept him going. He said if what you're doing is for you alone, you have every reason on the planet to stop doing it, especially when it's hard or uncomfortable.

Fearlessness vs courage

Fearlessness is when you don't think about the consequences. Courage is knowing the risks, mitigating what you can, and then doing it anyway, despite that vice grip around your stomach. 

Most of us get stopped when the going gets hard. But we have to do hard things. It's the only way to realize our dreams. It's great to believe in fairytale endings, but the reality is we must do the work. It's from the other side of those challenges that we feel the most proud, where our best stories come from, and ultimately, lead us to the life we actually want, rather than just what we get. 

Find your tribe

Find those people who believe in you. Look outside of your known social circles and connect, connect, connect until you find those you resonate with. They will open doors for you. 

Ideally, give what you can in whatever way you can, be it a compliment, a kindness, a task, or a donation—not because you want something, but because it's the right thing to do. 

Take risks, even small ones. Keep going. And know what lights you up, even if you don't know how to get it. Then trust it's in the works, Take the step in front of you, and if it's hard, do it anyway.  

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.