Full stop. Total reset.

Spring snow

Ever get to a point where you just need to stop and re-evaluate? Start fresh?

Yeah. Me, too. 

Spring officially arrived this week (though it doesn't really feel like it), and it seems like a great time for an overhaul. And, while some advise against changing more than one thing at once, I don't want to wait.

Nothing's wrong, but I want more. Not more "stuff" or more on my to do list, but more energy, more freedom, and more joy. I'm ready to shed those bad habits that keep me from what I say I want.

Those bad habits have consequences, like sluggishness, fatigue, digestion challenges, and weigh gain. My finances are looking up, thanks to a new job, but more debt than I'm comfortable with is a consequence of two years of less-than-optimal income, coupled with some lousy spending habits I cultivated growing up.

So in case my efforts help you, too, here's what I'm doing if you want to shake a few things up, too.

Less is more 

1. Credit card debt is my least favorite thing. Mom always said it's there when you need it, and I agree. I'm grateful I've had it when times were hard. And, the credit hangover is real. So I'm noticing my spending habits and reading about others who gained control over theirs. Here's my plan:

  
• Track spending. It's a terrible name, but the Numreceipt app does what I want it to do. Others like Mint are more complex. I don't need a budget tool; I just need to know where, when, and why I spend money (ahem... not always aligned with my values). This app lets me add random notes, such as whether it was retail therapy, 'entertainment', or an actual needed purchase, like groceries. I started tracking mid-February and I'm already spending more mindfully because I know I'll enter every cent I spend. (This is awareness building, not punitive, so I can't game my own system by not including it.)  
• Spend less. Canadian author Cait Flanders found herself in debt, too, and started a self-imposed year-long shopping ban. She documented her process in a blog, which led to her book, The Year of Less, which I bought and read in January. On March 1, I imposed my own shopping ban with only minor exceptions (groceries, replacing used-up personal products, and gifts; 'experiences' aren't shopping, noting it's easy for me to excuse vintage shopping as an experience or entertainment, when it's really just shopping and therefore not OK). This is also about spending time more wisely. Studies focused on end-of-life show we remember what, how, and with whom we spent time, not how much we had. My goal is really no mindless shopping, no 'rewards' for simple tasks, no emotional plugs. 
• Declutter. During her year of less, Cait also decluttered. Not in the style of Marie Kondo's Tidying Up, nor even A Year to Clear, an online DailyOm program I loosely did in 2016. I've attempted decluttering before, but in my heart I'm not a minimalist, even though I'm now ready for less. I also live in a small house with minimal storage space, which makes everything seem more cluttered. A key question she poses when evaluating what to keep: Did I buy this for me, the person I want to be, or who other people want me to be? This month, I filled about 20 grocery-sized bags of clothing and household items to re-home.
• Simplify. Courtney Carver's MS diagnosis was her wake-up call to start living differently. I hope most of us don't wait for a health crisis to change. Let's learn from her and others about how to simplify and pay attention to those things that matter most. In her book Soulful Simplicity, Courtney notes we're so busy being busy, and how that feeds our go-go-go more-more-more culture. She gives tips to set priorities and to ask ourselves better questions. And how to say no so we can say yes. Reading how she was eventually able to let go of sentimental items gives me faith I can do the same.   



Just some of the bags of stuff
to be re-homed.

In my younger years, I found the simplicity movement of the 60s or 70s intriguing, and still have my copies of Voluntary Simplicity and Your Money or Your Life. But we do things when we're ready, no matter how much we know. Clearly, I wasn't ready for a simple life (and, clearly, also not ready to give up those books).

Others offered expertise in the years that followed, and more come online every day. (I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the work of my friend John (Take Back Your Time.) One of the most intriguing right now is The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. Since both sides of my ancestral bloodline are Swedish, I can't pass this one up. But I'm not buying it yet. My intention for 2018 is "experiences over stuff" so instead, I have a list of what I want to buy. If I still want it 30 days later, I can buy it. This isn't so much about not buying; it's really about mindful spending of money and time.  

More is less

2. That sluggishness I mentioned? The weight gain? That wouldn't have anything to do with the (approx) cup of half-and-half in my coffee and tea every day, would it? Hmmm...

I'm not one for diets, be they trend, fad or otherwise. But I do believe the occasional reset with an elimination 'diet' can help. After trying to plan the process myself (how I've done this previously), I opted for Whole30, which is a 30-day reset. It does two things: 1) it removes the most likely culprits that offend our digestion or cause food addiction, which for many of us are grains, dairy, and all-things-sugar, and 2) it brings a new level of awareness to what, when, and how we eat. Today is Day 3, and so far, so good. I've relied on cream, cheese and yogurt for much of my daily sustenance, and for 30 days, I'm replacing these with greens, proteins, (non-dairy) fats, and a little fruit. Getting enough food can be a problem for many when starting down this path. Imagine that.

Say goodbye to old habits... 

Timing is everything, isn't it?

I'm now four months into a new job; I still have a learning curve but I know enough to get work done and I feel less like a deer in headlights. I have mental capacity to take on a personal challenge or two.

Over the last couple of years, while searching for the right work fit, I also did a lot of deep, self-reflective work, and added, rebuilt, or re-prioritized parts of my life that were important to me. I did some decluttering, knowing that less cluttered physical space can help with less cluttered mental and emotional space (something else The Year to Clear does), but didn't get very far, and still continued to shop more than I needed to.

And... 

"You have to do things you don't want to do so you can do things you want to do." - Soulful Simplicity

We know this. Exercise, anyone? Live a sedentary life and the odds for ill-health later only go up, right?

I wanted to change some habits, but I wasn't ready. Giving up long-held habits, like beliefs (in essence, mental habits), may trigger our reptilian brains to put up a fight, even when we want the change, or at least, the benefits of the change. Knowing what we want to be different, and knowing what we actually do by habit, comes first. We can't change what we think or do until we know we're doing it, and why we're doing it. That's why tracking something to notice the patterns and gaps can help.

For example, following a simple eating plan helps me see if I'm eating because I'm really hungry, or if I'm eating because something tastes good, or just because it's there (I do more of this than I thought I did). When habit, or in some cases muscle memory, kicks in with an unwanted behavior, I can "stop, notice, and redirect."


...Say hello to better living

Easing in with small steps can help build the mental and physical fortitude to make the bigger changes you want actually stick, like tracking (spending tracker), limiting options (Whole30), or replacing bad habits with good (ex.: when I quit smoking oh-so-long ago, I chose carrots as my tool -- I peeled, julienned, and twisted them in my fingers).

Here are a few practices that I also find helpful:

• Meditation. I use the Insight Timer app (free) almost daily for guided or timed meditation, and have for over a year. It has multiple benefits. 
• Practicing gratitude: I've mentioned in previous posts that a daily email to a gratitude partner helps me see all the good in my life, even on the roughest days. Before the gratitude partner, I used my journal for this.
• Morning pages: While not currently doing this, morning pages from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way--three pages of stream of consciousness writing first thing in the morning--have helped immensely when I've struggled to resolve an issue. 
• Journal writing: A saving grace over the years; I wrote my first "dear diary" in fifth grade, and have continued off and on ever since.

What was that about exercise? 

Right... exercise is one of the best habits of all. Sadly, I don't currently have that habit, and am consistently inconsistent. My sporadic exercise has a little to do with time but more with energy; one of my desired outcomes of my 30-day elimination process is more energy. And, these feed each other: exercise can replace shopping--a walk through the 'hood or a park is preferred over a TJ Maxx treasure hunt, or adds quality time, like a walk with a friend.

One thing I'm grateful for is yet another opportunity to pay attention and be more intentional about how I live my daily life. Another truism we all know: The days are long but the years are short. Doing what's most important -- to you, not someone else -- is what's actually most important, for you, for me, and for the rest of us.

Have any tips for creating and sticking to a new habit? Or new habits you're so glad you have? I'd love to hear.