Mindfulness moment

Beautiful British Columbia

We all need to disconnect now and then... from our jobs, our computers, our mobile devices. Many of us sit too much and spend too much time staring at small screens, and much of that time is spent consuming media, not creating. 

Our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being requires that we take time out. Time out spurs creativity and ingenuity, and is proven to lower our stress levels. 

Even though I practice various forms of self-care, I'm not always great about taking time away from the day-to-day, and I'm especially not good at disconnecting. But Forrest insisted I take time off, and he was right. I needed it. And oh-my-gosh was it pretty! If it weren't for the mosquitoes, I'd have stayed an entire week at this place. 

But because I can't, I captured a couple of moments to revisit when I need to stop, breathe, and decompress in a hurry. The creek was so loud, the fire is inaudible, and the rushing water is more reminiscent of white noise—but white noise has its benefits, too.  

Here you go:  

(Apologies to those who receive this by email; the video images above aren't visible and I don't know why... )

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

Six months in: Take stock, celebrate wins, course correct

If left unchecked, weeds creep in
and keep our plants from thriving.
The same is true for our thoughts,
feelings and behaviors.    

We're just over six months into 2019, so it seems like a good time to stop, notice, and celebrate our wins so far this year, whether they're large or small.  

Celebrating success is motivating, no matter how small those successes. It's like the debt snowball Dave Ramsey talks about in his money makeover programs: pay off your smallest debt first, then tackle the next smallest. It builds a trail of success that has the potential to grow exponentially. 

Don't climb the wrong ladder...

It's also a great time to check and adjust. There's a saying about reaching the top of your proverbial career ladder, only to discover you climbed the wrong ladder... this applies whether you're climbing the ladder at work, pursuing a dream that you later discover wasn't yours, or doing something that doesn't align with your values.  

A few questions to ask yourself: Do the intentions you set in January still fit? Are you taking the right actions to reach your goals, dreams, and desires? What must you stop, start, or re-assess so that at the end of the year, you feel like you accomplished something important to you?  

We always want to stop and check in with ourselves to make sure we add meaning to our lives. If something isn't working or no longer fits, it's OK to stop doing it. You don't need permission. Re-set. Re-align. What daily actions might fit better than what you're doing now?  

Small wins

Most of my wins this year so far are small, but I'm OK with this. I'm making steady progress, creating and building, and I'm mostly consistent. 

This blog, for instance. I'm writing weekly and have since the first week of January—a challenge I set for myself. I'm building my writing muscle and learning to use my voice in ways I haven't before, about subjects I care about rather than the business topics I write about for work. I didn't know if I could do it, how it would shake out, or who would read it. None of that mattered when I started. 

I also count my new morning and evening rituals as small wins, something I started in early May but had to revisit in late June. How I initially set them up didn't work for me when I got hit with a headache; my new routines do. And they fit with my bigger intention of optimal health and well-being. 

Big wins

I don't have anything I'd classify as really big and tangible so far, but I have a few intangibles, and I'm taking action to land a big win or two by year's end. Those action steps include refining and more clearly defining my priorities, purpose, passions, and values, as well as my short- and long-term goals. These may seem like small wins, but collectively, they feel like and lead to a big win. I'm also setting up meetings to talk about work and life. Change is in the air, and that's a big win. 

Tend to your internal house or
it could end up like this place...
(Second Ave., Belltown, Seattle)

I found my voice this year in ways I didn't know I needed to. A coaching session revealed I'd benefit from taking up space and using that voice. I'm setting boundaries and stating my needs in ways I haven't before—at work, with friends, at home. Sadly, I lost a friend in the process, but I also gained a friend. Change creates change: when we alter who we are, those around us may react, or sometimes, they change, too. Sometimes, we just have to let go. 

I don't want to suggest that wins imply loss, because it's all perception. Loss is also winning. Anytime we gain new awareness, learn, shift our perception, and grow, we win. We really can't lose unless we choose to. 

Enable success

A tip to ensure progress, since we don't set intentions or goals, or have aspirations or dreams, with no desire to fulfill them, is to write everything down in a way you can measure where you are and what you must do to get where you want to go. This doesn't need to be complicated—keep a list in your phone, on your refrigerator, or whatever tracking method works best for you.  

The important thing is to make sure you're moving forward, by one small step or leaps and bounds, and if you're headed in the wrong direction, to course correct as soon as possible. 

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

Grow your mind, body and spirit

Change is all there is

If you've ever been hit over the head with a two-by-four, figurative or literal, you know it hurts. And sadly, the hit of the proverbial kind often takes more than one to get our attention. Ideally, we learn and stay out of harms way the next time.  

That proverbial hit has happened to me more often than I care to admit—major moves, job changes, relationship trauma—but thankfully, I can also say I've experienced what the experts now call post-traumatic growth (a term I'm still not sure I like, even though I get the value of it). When we learn from events that cause what most of us know as PTSD, we develop new coping skills, grow our emotional intelligence, and ideally, grow our mind, body and spirit. 

To do this, though, we must be willing to shift our mindset. Most of us are more prone to be victims of our circumstances, rather than to view what happens as opportunities to grow. 

Blueprint for growth and change

Over the last week, I watched a five-part series called Transcendence, Live Life Beyond the Ordinary. The show is a comprehensive blueprint for change, challenging knowledge and beliefs pervasive throughout our north American culture. During one interview, Sean Stephenson, author of the international best seller Get Off Your 'But' asked himself after yet another fall, 'why him' and 'why again' when he broke more bones. Sean, who was born with a rare bone disorder, grew to just three feet and wasn't expected to live, is an extraordinarily accomplished human—because at one point, he changed his mindset.  

A few things he shared: 

• having a dream is more important than achieving a dream
• when something is upsetting or unfair, he's too zoomed in; he suggests zooming out and changing perspective—this isn't happening TO me, but FOR me
• ask, "what can I learn from this?"

While this post doesn't even remotely do justice to the show, which I highly recommend to anyone who's interested in living a more intentional, empowered life, here are a few other gems from this episode:

• To be fulfilled, apply effort now, enjoy pleasure later; to be gratified, seek pleasure now, but pay later
• Be an unrealistic human being; these are the people who chart the course for the rest of us (think Jobs, Bezos, et al)
• If we're unsure of our purpose, look at the pains we experienced as children and explore the gifts those pains may have provided us; these pains may lead us to what we're passionate about and where we feel purposeful 

To have a fulfilling life, there are three types of worthy pursuits: 

1. decide what experiences you want to have in your life
2. ask yourself and then list how you want to grow and evolve
3. consider where you want to make a difference and how you'll give back to the world... 

Reap the rewards... 

From Transcendence... 

I don't want to be hit upside the head again, so I actively work to grow mind, body, and spirit, and facilitate change when I know something isn't working anymore. I've felt that blow enough, and while tremendous good has come from each, I'd rather learn sooner and reap, not pay, big dividends. 

How about you? Feeling any change afoot? Areas where something no longer serves you? Know what you need to do but aren't yet willing to do it? My suggestion is to get on it, or it'll get on you. Seriously. 

Life is about change, and change is good. Without it, we'd all be stagnant, boring, and bored. Who wants that? 

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I also have two openings available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

Don't let your past dictate your future

Gardeners must always check and adjust;
moving plants for better light or drainage...
removing plants that no longer fit,
trying new things...  

Over the last several years, I've made many mindset changes to shift the trajectory of my experience and circumstances for the remainder of my life. Part of that is consistently reminding myself that I can't let my past dictate my future because that creates more of the same. If we want something different than what we've had, we have to do this work. 

One way I do that is to repeat the phrase, 'my future calls me in.'  

But even though I set goals and practice visualization, make vision boards of how I want my life to look and what I want to create, and actively do the other work necessary to grow—forgiveness (particularly self), release, and gratitude—I'm not sure I've known exactly what that means, feels like, or looks like in practice.  

Yesterday morning, I got it. 

Here's what happened, and how you can benefit, too...  

I've had a headache for three weeks.  

You read that right. Three weeks. Doctor said it's a tension headache. Just today, the start of the fourth week, it subsided. For three weeks, every day, I woke up at 4 a.m. with blinding pain, which then subsided by 10 a.m.  

And yes, this is relevant.

I attribute my headache to a number of things, but mostly to computer use. I had a few highly intense weeks at work with crazy deadlines that required doubling down on writing, editing, and online reading, which added a new level of tightness to my already-tight traps across my upper back. Couple this with some emotionally taxing events, an out-of-alignment atlas, and bad sinuses... 

When the headache hit, I was six weeks into a new morning routine and loving it. Waking up a little earlier to start my morning with 50 reps each of squats, push ups, and crunches (and trust me, I had to modify), a green smoothie, water, meditation, a hot/cold shower, and more... that 10-day challenge I wrote about previously. 

But the headache caused an abrupt halt to this, and just this weekend I found enough breathing space to think about what's possible in light of my circumstances. 

When things don't work, check and adjust

Borrowing a phrase from my almost-former colleague, the president who retires at the end of the month, I had to check and adjust. 

On Sunday I decided I could still do this, I just had to do it differently. So I further modified, including my timing. Before bed, I: 

• Do an adapted exercise routine with stretches
• Made my green smoothie for the next morning (for maximum nutrient retention, fill a jar to the rim and cover tightly)
• Continue my gratitude practice, sharing what I'm grateful for that day with my gratitude partner
• Take my hot/cold shower
• Place a hot pack around my neck
• Leave my phone in the living room and read a book instead—a change I wanted to make anyway but wasn't really motivated to do

Headache as catalyst...  

And my mornings: On Monday, after hitting snooze twice, I stumbled into the living room, unlocked my phone and went straight to Insight Timer for a previously selected breathing meditation. I did not pass go, nor did I collect $200... and I did not look at any of the notifications. And after 10 minutes of focused breathing, I wrote. 

That's where the magic happened. 

First, let me say that all this did not make my headache go away. I had a massage on Saturday (love me some Two Smiling Feet), and tortured myself with the foam roller a few times. I'll credit these, along with the newly added stretches, to booting out the headache. As noted earlier, today was the first morning it didn't cause a rude awakening. 

My future calls me in... 

I've read a lot lately about versions of 'future self journaling' (and here's one example from the Holistic Psychologist) and I thought that's what I would do on Monday morning. But what showed up was "the remembering process," a type of journaling I learned about while taking a class a couple of years ago at the spiritual center I go to. 

The book didn't move me; I found it tedious. And at the time, the process didn't come easy.  

But this time, it flowed. 

I wrote as though it was two-and-a-half years into my future, when the changes my partner and I have set in motion finally reach fruition, when those long-ago set dreams are at last fulfilled. 

It was so freeing. I felt light—something I haven't felt in a very long time. 

I wrote about our travel plans, about our house, our work lives, our health. In detail. For pages. And as I wrote it, I felt it as though I really was writing from the future. 

We must feel the change we want to create

A lot of us get this wrong. We're familiar with the new age-y, pop culture phenomena, 'change your thoughts, change your life,' and while that's important and it does create change, there's more that has to happen for real and lasting change.  

Creating what we want requires us to feel the changes to match the thoughts, and believe they're as true as our present moment. Where we're often tripped up is getting stuck in our heads, and not diving deep and uncovering those beliefs that undermine us. But when we do this, we can change anything. We can change our experience of our past so we're empowered and not victims. We can create from what we dream about rather than our previous experience. 

Our minds are pliable...

While by no means a neuroscience expert, I love reading about neuroplasticity and how our minds are capable of far more than we ever thought possible. 

Our minds can't differentiate between the immediate now and the 'now' we're feeling as though it were true. That's why the remembering process works. Our minds think this has already happened, so it, or the energy we are at our most base element, aligns with what we feel. 

The science is more complex, but the concept isn't. Give it a try and see what happens. Write as though you're already living your future—the delicious realization of your dreams, achieving your big, hairy, audacious goals (yep, that's BHAG), and believing it's as true as the air you're breathing this very moment. 

What would you write if these were true and done?  If you feel like it, share your experience in the comments. I'd love to hear about your experience.  

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.