When we need new friends...

Symbiotic relationships:
Life & death

When I lost my job in a 2016 reorg, it was soon clear how I relied on work for social connection. While I know a lot of people, most of my closest friends live anywhere but close--Canada, Chile, California, the UK, and the Southeast.  

While finding a job was important, I quickly realized building community and making new friends were equally important.  

Studies now show that social connection is as important for health and longevity as good sleep, a good diet, and not smoking. But interestingly, studies also show we'll sync with those we spend the most time with, e.g., if our social network is largely unhealthy, we're more likely to be unhealthy, too. 

Who we spend time with matters.

Intentional connection

Not long after the layoff, my partner went back to work—he's a merchant mariner away on ships for months at a time. While he's not my everything, he's my a-lot-o'things—companion, confidant, cheerleader, housemate, playmate... When he leaves for work, those first coupl'a weeks are like losing an appendage until I find my groove. I had a big gap.  

But I couldn't fill that gap randomly; I wanted people who shared my values and had a growth mindset. While I again lived in the city I grew up in and had "friends" both old and new, I enjoyed seeing some online. But I knew they wouldn't be part of the intentional "community" I wanted to create now.  

Desired experience 

So I considered the kinds of connection I wanted, what I wanted to do, learn, and experience, who I wanted to learn from, as well as where I could contribute. 

Those I spent time with must share some degree of optimism, gratitude, a willingness to expand their horizons, authentic generosity, and a curiosity about the world at large. That doesn't leave room for scarcity mindsets, victims, or even happy doomers. 

It's a life-affirming approach, knowing we create the lives we want and contribute to a better world.      

Relationship audits

Sometimes we outgrow our friends—and not just those from high school. There's a saying I don't love, but it's applicable: Some people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And that's OK. We're on this earth to grow, and we're all on different paths.  

I know a few people who regularly audit their "friends" on Facebook. I don't do this because that's time I don't want to spend, but I do find it important to audit IRL friends. Some friendships are deep and meaningful, and some are just for fun... both have value, but the question I ask about whether a friendship still fits, is: Do I feel energized or drained after being with that friend?  

Where to find friends

While we can find "community" in many places, making new friends isn't always easy for many adults. A recent Broken Brain podcast discussed this in-depth and offered ideas to find and create more meaningful friendships. 

Here are some examples of what I did that stuck: 

• I found a great professional women's group on Meet-Up, went to monthly meetings, took a few workshops, and have now had coffee with someone I have some things in common with; this may be the start of a new friendship.
• I went to the Seattle Lean In chapter's monthly meetings. At one of them, I ran into a former colleague and we decided to start a Lean In 'small circle' together with an assigned group of participants. We now meet monthly and the acquaintances are deepening into friendships. 
• Despite being church-averse, the spiritual center nearby intrigued me, so I dropped in on Sundays and signed up for a class--which led to more classes, volunteer work, and a few social activities. I can now say honestly I have new like-minded friends.  
• Online groups, while not the in-person connection I craved, filled some holes; one professional development group has a few locals in it, so I planned a get-together in December and a couple of coffee dates with others.  



Amazing Grace Spiritual Center, a
Center for Spiritual Living, on
their 10th anniversary

• I also found no shortage of volunteer opportunities, a great way to meet people. About the same time I was laid off, I was matched with a 'little' through the Big Sisters program, which did two things: it forced me to try new activities, and gave me a good reason to say no to other things--which can be as or more important than saying yes. 

An important outcome now that I'm busier: I pay close attention to who gets my time, why they get it, and how much I share my thoughts and feelings. Only some get my true self with the vulnerable parts. That takes time and reciprocal effort.  

Did it work? 

The short answer: from each of these efforts, I now have not just community, but individuals I call friends. 

Relationships are like mirrors, reflecting back on what we believe about the world and ourselves. Generally, we have to like the reflection or at least be open to it. If we don't, we can gauge whether it's an opportunity to learn and thereby worth looking at, or whether it's time to let go. 

Our health and wellness, including mental and emotional health, may depend on how we answer.   



If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to subscribe (see right column), share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here. 

Cultivate an abundance mindset

Abundance is what we
choose to see.

Most mornings, I listen to a Kenneth Soares "I AM" affirmation on Insight Timer. I've listened to them for so long now I hear his voice in my head. Usually what I hear is, "where focus goes, energy flows." 

You don't have to read Carol Dweck's Mindset, popular among today's c-suite leaders, to know that some of us are more open to learning than others. In fact, that's her premise—are you generally open- or closed-minded (a 'growth' or 'fixed' mindset) to new experiences and ideas? Are you willing to change what you believe and how you learn? 

For all intents and purposes, we are our mindset. So much of what we experience ties back to what we believe, at our core, which is what we made our experiences mean when we were kids. This belief becomes our mindset, which largely defines our approach to learning and development.

Declutter your thoughts 

Spiritual Economics, The Principles and Process of True Prosperity by Eric Butterworth, is an exploration into our beliefs about abundance, and not just our finances. Butterworth shows us how to recognize our beliefs around abundance, how to change them, and ultimately, how to cultivate an abundant life. 

Amazing Grace Spiritual Center

I'm taking a class based on the book, and last week, the instructor asked if I'd talk about it on Sunday at the spiritual center I often attend. Seeing it as a stretch opportunity, I said yes. We teach that which we most need to learn, yes? That's certainly true in coaching. Funny how that works. 

As if to emphasize the point, Sunday's featured talk was called, Declutter Your Life, Kondo Your Thinking, Change Your Life. 

Perfect. I shared the following story. 

Garbage in, garbage out... 

I had friends over for dinner a few nights ago, and the conversation turned to national politics, and I noticed I started to squirm.  

I got up, cleared the table, did a few things, sat back down, and I recognized I was very uncomfortable with the nature of the continuing conversation. So I stopped it. I didn't just change the subject. I owned that it was making me uncomfortable. Focusing on everything that's wrong feels like scarcity to me, and it fuels my anxiety. It doesn't feel hopeful, and it detracts from whatever meaning I assign to my life. 

I have no power to change what's happening at the national level, other than with my vote and small financial contributions. My point of power is in my present moment, in the small circle of influence I currently inhabit, and with the energy I put out into the world. I don't want to add to scarcity. I want to add to abundance. Where focus goes, energy flows. 

What we think, we create

Wayne Dyer writes in The Power of Intention, "Be continually alert to the fact that simply by thinking and feeling in harmony with intention... you'll counterbalance the collective negativity of 90,000 people, and perhaps millions." 

What I know is that there are a lot of people doing amazing work, including some of those people at the dinner table. Yes, we can talk about all the giant things that shouldn't be in the world right now but let's focus on what we can do and not kvetch. I'm not naive. I know what's going on; I read and watch trusted news sources. There's an endless list of broken systems. And... there are also people working to fix them.  

What does abundance mean to you?

While not financially flush, I believe my life is abundant. Every day, when I open my back door, I see and hear an abundance of birds, smell a variety of plants, trees, and fertile soil, and can snack on the growing things peppered around the yard. I also count my blessings because I have this yard, a partner who helps me manage it (who loves me), and a house, with heat, and a refrigerator that's never empty. And that's just a starting point. 

I've always liked the saying, "you can lament because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." 

I choose how I see the world, and my abundance is grounded in what I choose to see. Where I put my attention is what I create.  

Cultivate and protect your mindset

Here are a few tips for cultivating more abundance:  

• Contribute. Volunteer. Donate. Share. Recognize how much you have to give, even if it feels small. There is likely someone who would gladly change places with you. 
• Ask better questions. Instead of, what do I need to get done today, ask, what do I need to do for my highest and greatest good today? 
• Or, ask, what does the world need from me today (I think that's what JFK asked)?  
• Start a daily gratitude practice. Either at the start or end of your day, write out those few things that stand out that you're grateful for today. Even better, tell someone else. 
• Open your eyes (figurative and literal) to what's working in your life, even the smallest things. What or who do you appreciate?  
• Explore how you define success. When will you know you're there? 
• What do you tell yourself about your self-worth? What are you deserving of? Is what you tell yourself something you'd say to someone you care about? 
• Be mindful of how you engage and the quality of content and people you allow into your life. Do you feel good or not? While commiserating has its place, be careful. Pay attention. This may be more important than anything else. 

As I experience more abundance, I'm able to give more and do more, and in turn, generate more abundance in my world. Where focus goes, energy flows...  

What do you want more of? Do that... Give that. 

Whether it's time, money, energy, or just shifting a conversation, we all have a role in creating the abundant world we want to live in. What feeds you, fuels you? That's your gift to the world, which radiates positive energy, which contributes to abundance everywhere.  

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

The fixings of possibility

A world of abundance

So many of us in the northern hemisphere are incredibly fortunate when we compare our lives to the world at large. But as the divide between rich and poor continues to increase, the wealth gap ever-widening, there are more of us who aren't so lucky. 

Here in the US, we have millions who live below the poverty line, and there are growing numbers of people who have nowhere to go at night other than an urban, unsanctioned, and makeshift campsite. This is all a giant shouldn't be and why those who have the power to enact policy to at least keep people fed and safe don't do that befuddles me beyond comprehension.  

Wise choices 

That said, we're all blessed to live in a time of inconceivable prosperity, although for many, there is no trickle-down. The majority who read this blog I assume live in a place where you can make choices that serve you, and you can course-correct when you make a bad decision. Peter Arnell, in his book Shift, wrote, "we can be our own aspiration." 

That's the stuff I write about most of the time. I love that we can choose a better life for ourselves with every decision we make. 

But it's important to remember that not everyone can—or at least, they don't know they can. We're all blessed with free-will, too, but even that's a non-starter for so many. If you can barely take care of your physiological and safety needs, it's highly unlikely you'll think about or maybe even know about the higher levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 

Celebrate your gifts 

Danielle LaPorte, author of The Firestarter Sessions and other amazing books and resources, wrote on Instagram, "Can we be grateful for what we have when others are going without?" Yes, she says. Be modest and respect others, but celebrate all you're blessed with. 

She's right—because when we have more resources, we can do more, be more, share more. When we live into our potential, or lift ourselves up, we put that into the universal energy field and lift others up, too. 

We're grounded in belief

Yes, we all have the fixings of possibility (thanks to Liberte for the phrase). Even those who seemingly have nothing. But sadly, they don't know it, and may not have a way to find out. They haven't received a hand up and may rely on handouts, which feed their bodies but not their souls. As I view our growing homeless community, I wish I could help in a way that matters most—at that deep subterranean level where we know we have value.  

No matter where you live or what your experience, so much of what we have as adults is based on what we believe. No one spoke more eloquently and meaningfully about this than Austrian psychologist Viktor Frankl, in Man's Search for Meaning, who spent years in a Nazi concentration camp.  

Those living in abject poverty may not know any other way. They may believe that's all they're worth. Many come from childhoods with countless 'adverse events' with no tools or resources to change. They may have never had a lucky break, a mentor, or an opportunity to see life from a different vantage point. Eric Butterworth, in Spiritual Economics, writes, "We have been erroneously conditioned to believe that our lives are completely shaped by what happens around us and to us. But life is lived from within-out. It's not what happens 'out there', but what we do or how we think about what happens."

What we believe can keep us in poverty, lonely, and unwell. It's for those reasons we owe it to ourselves and everyone else to use our freedom and privilege wisely and to do what we can to live from an abundant mindset. 

Know your worth

Those fixings of possibility? Know your worth, know you're part of something bigger, and carry with you at all times the mindset of abundance, gratitude, and generosity. Even if you don't feel privileged, if you live in the US, particularly in the Pacific Northwest, you likely benefit from some kind of privilege by the very fact you live where you do. 

When we acknowledge and accept this, we can make choices that contribute to a better world. We owe it to those who have less to make smart choices, to expand our capacity to be the best we can be, and to model the way for others. And, extend a helping hand in whatever way you can, in a way that's meaningful to you. 

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

5 simple steps to take when nothing feels possible...

Spring is late this year;
the crocus only just showed its colors.
Nighttime temps are still in the 30s (F). 

Maybe it's just Mercury in retrograde. I'm not very versed in what that means, but when others remind me, I usually say, "Oh! Now it makes sense!" 

What I notice is that something doesn't feel right. Planetarily, Mercury went retro on March 5, so that could explain my last week or so.

I've felt a little SAD (for those who live in sunnier climes, that's Seasonal Affective Disorder—an acronym that actually describes its associated feeling) and unproductive. I couldn't put my finger on why, even with valid reasons like a long winter and painful anniversaries of long-past March events.

I don't track retrograde dates, and...  should there be actual truth to the retrograde effect, those who know say it contributes to crossed communication, unexpected tensions, missed connections, etc. Rather than make bold moves, sign contracts, or have heartfelt conversations, they say it's a better time to reflect and just be. However, I know some of us don't do this well without prompting.

So let this be your prompt. 

Take time out, stop, think, and contemplate what you want your world to look like, be like. The time for action will come—just not yet.

Here's a list of simple, albeit not always easy, self-care strategies to use until you can take your next steps. It might require some mental gymnastics or shifting some energy, but you can do that. There's not a lot of 'action' in these steps.

1. Be compassionate and forgiving of yourself. Feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, ineffectiveness, or just low energy, can show up and stop us. Remember this happens to everyone, even though our social media highlight reels make that seem untrue. Here's a line I've read and heard numerous times: Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides.  
2. Check your self talk. If your inner critic is doing all the talking, think about how you'd talk to your best friend. Then do that for yourself. What would you want that friend to tell you right now? Say that. And say it over and over, even if you don't believe it.  
3. Take stock and do small things. What are you able to do right now? Can you go for a walk? Have coffee with a friend? Maybe listen to a meditation app like Insight Timer or affirmations online. If it's too much work to make a green smoothie, can you buy one? If you usually pray but can't, listen to the Hawaiian Hoʻoponopono. Whatever you can do, do that, and acknowledge yourself for it. Know that food and exercise affect your mood, so even small tweaks can help lift the fog. 
4. Be grateful. Every day, remind yourself and reflect on what you're grateful for in that moment. 
5. Surrender. Sometimes, that's all there is to do. I've found that word coming out of my mouth more times than not lately. My word, or theme, for the year, is manifest... but perhaps surrender must come first.  

And here's a bonus step. Ask for help. I add this as a bonus because most of us can't, or won't, ask. It's a very hard thing for many to do. But it's also important. And if you can't, or won't, ask someone with the physical or emotional means to help, then say it out loud or write it down and let the universe, your higher power, or whatever you believe, think, or hope might be out there, know. Ask for what you need and be specific.

It gets better...

Even during our darkest hours, there's always something to hope for and be grateful for. As Leonard Cohen sang, the cracks are how the light gets in. When we're stuck and pondering, frustrated and worried, we can trust that answers will come, and at some point, everything will look better and brighter than before. It's almost always true.

Note I say this from a place of relative comfort—I am healthy, partnered, and I have a job and a home. I know at least one of these isn't true right now for people I care deeply about. Still, despite the sadness I feel and my desire to take their pain away, I must trust that what happens in our lives leads to our highest and greatest good. I know it's been true for me, and I've had some hard knocks.

When we stop learning and leaning in to life, even its hardships, we stop living. And damned if that hard sh*t doesn't move us forward in ways we couldn't have imagined. It won't feel like it at the time, and likely won't for a long time, until one day we look back in hindsight and realize we're thankful for what we gained. We learn to navigate, and with that, we get closer to having the lives we want, when so much more is possible.

Mercury leaves retrograde on the 28th, when spring will be in full swing. So if waiting it out is what you've got, do one of those small things listed above. Even if they feel hard. They'll keep the momentum moving so that when the fog lifts, you can take that next step, and maybe even leap.

What's your strategy when the fog rolls in thick and heavy, and nothing feels possible? Let me know what works for you.

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here. 

In the driver's seat

Closed doors don't have to be deterrents,
especially if they lead to the beach. 

Where are you headed? Or, as Robert Kiyosaki asks in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, "Where is this daily activity taking you?"

Between now and the ultimate destination we all share━our final resting place or the afterlife, or whatever you believe━we have more control than most of us think about what gets done in between.  

Don't we all want meaningful lives? No regrets when it's all said and done? 

I know I do. 

Early on, I didn't know I had control over my destiny. I made a lot of bad decisions, and assumed things "just happened to me". A long-time acquaintance once observed that I couldn't get any traction; he was talking about my career and finances, but he could've said that about any part of my life. I felt like the proverbial rug was consistently pulled from underneath me whenever I finally got things moving, or found some flow. I was held victim to my circumstances━they drove my beliefs and consequently, my actions and what I experienced. 


Consciousness is cause? 

This, even though I was introduced in my early 20s to the idea of consciousness as cause, that I could change my thoughts and therefore change my life. I don't remember hearing about deep-seated beliefs, nor how they drove my circumstances, no matter what I did with my thoughts. 

Affirmations are great, but until you know who's driving, you'll only get so far. 

Not-my-cat (aka #nmc) in my suitcase;
he only *thinks* he's driving.

My inner mean girl had my route mapped out. She told me I was stupid, not enough, nor worthy, why bother... I couldn't have whatever it was I wanted. I still set goals, stated affirmations, did the work, and even made progress. But only incremental. I didn't really believe I deserved what I wanted. 

It wasn't until a therapist asked me if I believed life is hard that I finally got "life just is" and that I could make better decisions and consciously create my future. I saw the beliefs that ran my life, and at last shifted my inner dialogue. The words were now just an ingrained habit, so as with any bad habit, I focused my attention to change it. 

Intention, plus attention, followed by daily action, will move you in the direction you want to go.  

The future calls me in... 

My past no longer dictates my future. My future calls me in based on my choices, intentions, and new beliefs━I'm worthy, smart, creative, and I can have what I want. I know what I want my life to look like. There are things I must now learn that I was incapable of understanding with the old mindset, and change behaviors that support my direction, but that's all possible. 

Sometimes I detour back and briefly get stuck, make the occasional bad decision, repeat an old belief... but what's different is I now know it's mine to choose, and I see the impact on my outcomes. 

What is it you're looking for? What do you want your life to look like? Do you believe your past must determine your future? Do you have beliefs running in the background that trip you up and send you on detours?  

To find out, pay close attention to what you tell yourself when you're not paying attention, or when things aren't going the way you want them to. That's where the insights come from. 

Own your power, know your worth

And that's where the power is. You can change your mind and change your actions. Daily actions━notice your inner dialogue, write a new script, and choose activities that support your direction━will make sure you're the one who's driving.  


If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching, which you can find out more about here. 

Welcoming the new year

Creating a vision board is a good
physical reminder of what you intend
to create in the coming year.

New Year's Eve 2016. It's time to say goodbye to the old and welcome in the new year. For most, the annual ritual brings with it a bevy of traditions and high expectations.

Yet, very few celebrations live up to their promises. Resolutions are made to be broken. The year's dreams may have gone unrealized, or life showed up in ways unexpected. But that doesn't have to mean it was a bad year. What if it's up to our interpretation, and we can interpret it as good?

2016 was certainly an interesting year -- one that produced more challenges and discomfort than some of us are used to. We lost jobs while others lost loved ones, a few faced devastating illness, and a steady parade of beloved public figures -- musicians, artists, actors and authors, among them -- said goodbye to the mortal plane we've traveled together. Injustice throughout our country and the world seems extreme, with countless individuals, communities, and entire nations in crisis. Here in the states, we're about to make a hard right turn politically, ensuring even greater hardship for many. Yes, there are reasons to give in to worry, anger, or even fear.

And yet, there's a lot to be hopeful about.

New Year's Day ends five or six weeks of holiday frivolity and festivity; at the least, those weeks are a diversion from the norm. We interrupt our day-to-day programming and reconnect to the friends, family, rituals and traditions we care about during the darkest time of year (for those of us in the northern hemisphere), or find new meaning if the old familiar doesn't work anymore.

Pragmatically, the days that follow are really 
just a continuation of the year before. 

Idealistically, are they?

That first day of January symbolizes a fresh start. Some of us take time to reflect and look ahead. We clear the slate, make resolutions, change our minds, craft new plans, set goals, declare intentions, choose themes and keywords, and create tools like vision boards or mind maps to guide us as we go. We have hope for better times ahead.

What this tells me is we believe we have the power to create our circumstances, or at some level influence them. For this window of time, we're aware of where we have control and the inner power we possess to direct our own lives. We can choose how we want to be in the world, what we want more of, and express our desires and dreams.

If nothing else, we can choose our responses...

Life happens...

My word, or theme, for 2016 was invest, intending to actively invest in my financial future. To be smart about money. To change my relationship to it.

That wasn't exactly what showed up...

What showed up was losing my job, and instead of financial investment, I found myself investing in me. Hindsight being 20/20, it proved to be a good word, although the shift to this interpretation didn't happen overnight. It came to me slowly, after a number of false starts, breakdowns and breakthroughs, as I sought to explore and understand.

Those investments are now paying dividends, despite no steady paycheck. I invested time and energy in self-care, self-awareness, acceptance, forgiveness, letting go, mindful contribution, learning, and gratitude, and ultimately created new relationships and communities, identified what I deemed most important, learned how to allow, receive, and give differently, and found deeper connections and unrelenting trust.

Despite some anxious days and nights, it was worth every amount of effort; even anxiety has much to teach. Accepting what is and looking for good, I shifted my awareness, beliefs and my thinking, and through all this, experienced moments of bliss and and true joy. My list of what went right in 2016, as I reflect back, continues to grow. To all who were part of my process, I am extremely grateful.

And, all that said, there are many things I'm pretty over. I'm done with the self-doubt that showed up when my job went away. With the self-imposed limits that kept me small and disconnected from my full potential when I wanted to step into something bigger. With stories I learned along my journey that left me feeling 'less than' or disempowered. As I look out into our abundant universe, the collective 'we' continues to imagine, innovate, and create in more ways than anyone ever thought possible. Count me in.

So I have high hopes for 2017. I hope you do, too.

I recognize my good fortune -- I get to choose my experience every day. I can choose to wake up every morning and feel purposeful, joyful, gracious, connected, abundant, forgiving, grateful, healthy and empowered. I'd like to think the energy I create with this perspective contributes in a bigger way to the world around me, to making us all stronger and better.

As I remember that the point of power is in the present moment, and that small steps often lead to big leaps, no matter what happens outside of my control, I can make decisions that ripple into my future. We do, indeed, live in interesting times, and it takes all of us doing what we do best to make the world a better place. During the holiday break, I (finally) read Man's Search for Meaning -- an amazing story of the human spirit and what we're capable of. We all have the power to choose, no matter what.

My word, or theme, this year? I'm leaning toward imagine, as in, imagine the possibilities, or spaciousness and expansion. I want to nurture my imagination and daydream more to create the world I want to live in. And then, "be the change". Creating a vision for what's possible is always more powerful than replaying the past, or creating a future based on previous experience. I'm not looking for more of the same...

What about you? What do you do to usher in the new year? Do you have a word or theme?

A sampling from my vision board.
 It's a legendary year.
I have a great job that allows me to express my talents and abilities.
My blessings are unlimited and they fuel big ideas, have staying power,
and the good news just doesn't stop. I am mindful, yet expansive,
and I know doing the little things counts. I'm connected to collective wisdom,
making the world a better place.
Together we create a brighter tomorrow. 

Post-Thanksgiving gratitude, and a big 'shouldn't be'

Driving south on I-5 toward my uncle's place for Thanksgiving dinner, for the first time I noticed the magnitude of tent encampments under the freeway as we drove through and beyond downtown. Forrest was driving and we were in his truck, which sits higher than my car.

Discovery Park frost

Whether it was the added height or that I wasn't driving, I was able to notice differently. There were dozens, maybe hundreds... tent after tent stretched out in groups under the raised lanes of the freeway.

I know of this, have read and heard about this, but I haven't seen more than just a scattered few tents before.

This is a shouldn't be... 

How is it in our wealthy country, and in our affluent northwest, we have so many homeless? This isn't unique to our area, but with our usual moderate climate and liberal programs and policies, there are many who choose the northwest over other, less tolerant areas to live their lives outdoors.

Yet, the near freezing temperatures say it's winter. A local charity that helps women and children, Mary's Place, notes there are more than 500 families right now in our area with no place to call home.

Walking through Discovery Park, an old military base converted to a 500-acre park and some high-end view homes, I see an occasional tent tucked among the trees and brush. I cannot fathom how this is possible in today's world.

Sanctioned tent cities, in my neighborhood and throughout the city, give people who live on the street a bit more security along with bathroom facilities and access to drinking water. Yet neighbors complain; I can only surmise they don't want their cozy perceptions of safety shattered. There are shelters and half-way houses everywhere, but still there aren't enough beds.

But my real question is... why? 

Why is this even an issue at this point in time, in this place?   

Do they choose this? Maybe... maybe it's better than what home once was. I know many women are on the street because it's better than anything else they know, because they feel they have no other choice. And mental illness keeps some on the fringes of 'civilized' society.

I believe that to some degree we choose our circumstances. But I think in cases like this, even if this is true, those who live this plight do not understand they have choice. Do not believe that choice can be theirs. There are no visible options. They don't have foresight beyond survival because their circumstances never gave them that. When survival is your focus, the choice you make is what's right in front of you.

No one, 

especially children and families, 

should have no place to go to be 

warm, fed, and cared for. 

I had earlier whined that the food on my holiday table likely wasn't organic nor sustainable. Those individuals - those fellow humans - would be more than happy to have that food. I quickly berated myself and gave thanks for my amazing abundance -- a table full of delicious food, and family to share it with, and leftovers to spare.

My life is far from perfect. My company is reorganizing and many jobs are going away; mine may be eliminated. I have debt. My house is old and inefficient. Really?

Daily, I experience abundance.

Discovery Park blackberry blossoms... in November.
#Hopespringseternal.

I have choices. So many choices. And resources beyond measure. I am not materially wealthy, and yet, I have extended family and friends to share meals with. A life partner who loves me. A warm home to come back to. A cat to snuggle with. A job, for now, that gives me a paycheck in exchange for work. I am healthy and generally happy.

I also understand that I am my own security and I will (almost for certain) always be OK. I can choose. I am lucky to live where I do. I benefit from the legacy of my ancestors and my circumstances.

This isn't true for everyone. Yes, there will always be difference, injustice, and inequity. But does the gap have to be so... gaping?

How do we change this? 

#choice #hope