Why you should consider a flotation tank

Float pod

Today is a repost of a story I wrote for a lifestyle blog while working for a healthcare company; the original post is here (Actively Northwest, May 4, 2014). Many of my previous posts are no longer live on the original site, so for posterity, posting the content below. I'm still passionate about floating, and recently signed up for a membership at FloatSeattle. 

Float your way to relaxation

Flotation tanks are making a come-back, and they’re great for relaxing and improving focus.

As a kid, I’d lay in the grass on a warm summer day, look at the billowy shapes above, and wonder what it would feel like to float on a cloud.

Flotation is the next best thing.

What is flotation?

I can’t help but hum Also Sprach Zarathustra when entering a float center – the “pod” looks like something out of 2001-A Space Odyssey. First introduced to the public in the early 1970s, flotation was developed by neuropsychologist John Lilly in the 1950s to examine the impact of sensory deprivation on the brain. 

Several modifications later, today, a typical “float center” has several private rooms with a shower and the sci-fi looking pod, which is filled with body temperature water and a high concentration of Epsom-salt (along with a dash of chlorine for safety). Floating fell out of favor during the 1990s, but is gaining momentum again as people look for ways to power down and unplug.

Why do it?

Today, flotation tanks today are largely used for relaxation. But numerous health benefits are also cited, from lowering blood pressure and cortisol levels to pain relief. Endorphins released from the anti-gravity effect are said to be mood-elevating, and some people use flotation to improve focus and for visualization. Some studies say flotation helps with depression and sleep disorders, in addition to stress reduction.  

In previous posts, I’ve mentioned the hamster wheel in my head. I haven’t mentioned that I also constantly fidget – I twirl my hair, tap my foot, crack my knuckles… Inside a float tank, I can’t do anything. It’s just me, alone with my thoughts, and my breath (which at first, seems very, very loud). There is no stimulus. I can’t fidget. There are no distractions.

What’s it like?

While my first float was more years ago than I’m willing to admit, I’ll own up to feeling edgy as I drove to Seattle’s Urban Float in Fremont (editor's note: this location is now closed). The kind of stillness I expect makes me nervous. But Urban Float is a delight to enter, and my private room is warm and comfortable. 

After showering (and they have Everyday Shea products, so no harsh chemicals), stepping into the pod feels like a soft caress – just 10” or so deep, the temperature of the water is perfect. I choose not to have music (earplugs help block external sound and keep the salt out of my ears) and after closing the lid, I turn off the soft blue light from inside the pod. Then… nothing. Well, a little bit of itching. And incessant thinking. 

But eventually, even my brain slows down, the itching stops, and I relax. I am weightless. It’s a lot like meditation without any effort. It’s nearly complete sensory deprivation, and yet I feel completely supported.

An hour goes by and it feels both too short and at times, too long. Ambient music plays five minutes before my time is up.

My takeaway at the end of my hour? “My body is amazing. Everything functions impeccably. I am completely supported.” I hadn’t planned on a new mantra, but I kind of like this one. I feel toxin-free (in addition to buoyancy, the salt pulls toxins away from the body) and very relaxed.

Urban Float provides everything you need – shower products, towels, earplugs. There’s a hairdryer in the one bathroom (perhaps the only drawback is there’s only one loo). An upstairs lounge – for before and after your float – has filtered water or hot tea, with low lighting and comfortable furnishings. It’s a good idea to sit a bit before heading out.

The impact of floating can last for days. I breathe easier, and my body flows a little more smoothly. My daily 60seconds of mindfulness come easily and effortlessly.

Give it a try

Flotation centers are popping up all over. In Seattle, we have Urban Float and Float Seattle (editor's note: my current favorite, with three locations in greater Seattle), and in Tacoma, Northwest Float Center. In Portland, there’s The Float Shoppe. North of the border, the Float House recently opened in Victoria and Vancouver.

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

Cultivate an abundance mindset

Abundance is what we
choose to see.

Most mornings, I listen to a Kenneth Soares "I AM" affirmation on Insight Timer. I've listened to them for so long now I hear his voice in my head. Usually what I hear is, "where focus goes, energy flows." 

You don't have to read Carol Dweck's Mindset, popular among today's c-suite leaders, to know that some of us are more open to learning than others. In fact, that's her premise—are you generally open- or closed-minded (a 'growth' or 'fixed' mindset) to new experiences and ideas? Are you willing to change what you believe and how you learn? 

For all intents and purposes, we are our mindset. So much of what we experience ties back to what we believe, at our core, which is what we made our experiences mean when we were kids. This belief becomes our mindset, which largely defines our approach to learning and development.

Declutter your thoughts 

Spiritual Economics, The Principles and Process of True Prosperity by Eric Butterworth, is an exploration into our beliefs about abundance, and not just our finances. Butterworth shows us how to recognize our beliefs around abundance, how to change them, and ultimately, how to cultivate an abundant life. 

Amazing Grace Spiritual Center

I'm taking a class based on the book, and last week, the instructor asked if I'd talk about it on Sunday at the spiritual center I often attend. Seeing it as a stretch opportunity, I said yes. We teach that which we most need to learn, yes? That's certainly true in coaching. Funny how that works. 

As if to emphasize the point, Sunday's featured talk was called, Declutter Your Life, Kondo Your Thinking, Change Your Life. 

Perfect. I shared the following story. 

Garbage in, garbage out... 

I had friends over for dinner a few nights ago, and the conversation turned to national politics, and I noticed I started to squirm.  

I got up, cleared the table, did a few things, sat back down, and I recognized I was very uncomfortable with the nature of the continuing conversation. So I stopped it. I didn't just change the subject. I owned that it was making me uncomfortable. Focusing on everything that's wrong feels like scarcity to me, and it fuels my anxiety. It doesn't feel hopeful, and it detracts from whatever meaning I assign to my life. 

I have no power to change what's happening at the national level, other than with my vote and small financial contributions. My point of power is in my present moment, in the small circle of influence I currently inhabit, and with the energy I put out into the world. I don't want to add to scarcity. I want to add to abundance. Where focus goes, energy flows. 

What we think, we create

Wayne Dyer writes in The Power of Intention, "Be continually alert to the fact that simply by thinking and feeling in harmony with intention... you'll counterbalance the collective negativity of 90,000 people, and perhaps millions." 

What I know is that there are a lot of people doing amazing work, including some of those people at the dinner table. Yes, we can talk about all the giant things that shouldn't be in the world right now but let's focus on what we can do and not kvetch. I'm not naive. I know what's going on; I read and watch trusted news sources. There's an endless list of broken systems. And... there are also people working to fix them.  

What does abundance mean to you?

While not financially flush, I believe my life is abundant. Every day, when I open my back door, I see and hear an abundance of birds, smell a variety of plants, trees, and fertile soil, and can snack on the growing things peppered around the yard. I also count my blessings because I have this yard, a partner who helps me manage it (who loves me), and a house, with heat, and a refrigerator that's never empty. And that's just a starting point. 

I've always liked the saying, "you can lament because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." 

I choose how I see the world, and my abundance is grounded in what I choose to see. Where I put my attention is what I create.  

Cultivate and protect your mindset

Here are a few tips for cultivating more abundance:  

• Contribute. Volunteer. Donate. Share. Recognize how much you have to give, even if it feels small. There is likely someone who would gladly change places with you. 
• Ask better questions. Instead of, what do I need to get done today, ask, what do I need to do for my highest and greatest good today? 
• Or, ask, what does the world need from me today (I think that's what JFK asked)?  
• Start a daily gratitude practice. Either at the start or end of your day, write out those few things that stand out that you're grateful for today. Even better, tell someone else. 
• Open your eyes (figurative and literal) to what's working in your life, even the smallest things. What or who do you appreciate?  
• Explore how you define success. When will you know you're there? 
• What do you tell yourself about your self-worth? What are you deserving of? Is what you tell yourself something you'd say to someone you care about? 
• Be mindful of how you engage and the quality of content and people you allow into your life. Do you feel good or not? While commiserating has its place, be careful. Pay attention. This may be more important than anything else. 

As I experience more abundance, I'm able to give more and do more, and in turn, generate more abundance in my world. Where focus goes, energy flows...  

What do you want more of? Do that... Give that. 

Whether it's time, money, energy, or just shifting a conversation, we all have a role in creating the abundant world we want to live in. What feeds you, fuels you? That's your gift to the world, which radiates positive energy, which contributes to abundance everywhere.  

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

How to get out of your own way and achieve your dreams

Infinite possibilities

About ten years ago, I unearthed a belief I'd held all my life: I didn't belong here. I had no right to take up space.

You might wonder where that came from, or how I came to realize it. Or why it even matters. 

A little background

While I had reached a certain level of my definition of success, I never got where I wanted to go. I was undervalued at work, overlooked for better roles or promotions, didn't have the means to do the things that mattered most. I never sought the spotlight, and consequently got no rewards and limited recognition. I'd put myself out there just enough to improve my position, but every step was painful and hard. I gave everyone else more credit for being smarter, better, or more able to 'play the game'. 

This was behavior I arrived at to keep myself safe, and even though I'd do the "work" and spout affirmations, I continued to get in my own way. I felt it physically, in my chest and throat, like I was somehow stopped or trapped, and I didn't understand why. Because I was doing the work. 

What's underneath 

My dad died right after I was born and my parents weren't married—not acceptable at that point in our societal evolution. My father's mother and sister insisted I couldn't be his, and I didn't meet my dad's family until my early 20s after reaching out to them and asking if we were related (they said yes, thankfully). 

A 'goody-two-shoes' until I was 12, I did a 180 when I hit 13. I was the black sheep on my mom's side of my family before and after the 180 (each for different reasons). Throughout my childhood, my mom worked full-time, and many of my caretakers died during my formative years. My mom checked out emotionally and abdicated her role as a parent when my aunt died. I was 9. My grandfather died when I was 10, my grandmother at 12. 

I believed everyone who loved me left me. As an adult, my intellect told me they didn't leave because of me, but under the surface, my childhood internalization believed differently.  

I carried that belief beneath my awareness until 10 years ago. 

In high school, as mentioned in previous posts, while smart enough, I was the classic underachiever. Nobody cared. The ongoing message from teachers and other significant adults was that I'd never amount to anything. I was too much of a f*ck up. I was always in trouble, always looking for love, acceptance, and approval in all the wrong places, from all the wrong people. I had no appropriate role models. 

What I know now? I was ashamed. 

I carried the shame of being alive, of having no right to take up space, until 10 years ago.

There's no blame here

There's no blame here, nor do I regret my past or wish I could change it. I am who I am today because of my experiences and I am authentically grateful for all I've experienced, for where I am, and for what I have now.

And... you can bet I'm happy to say goodbye to those beliefs.

Ten years ago, my partner and I separated (a continuation of 'everyone that matters leaves me'). Thankfully, we both saw an amazing woman, separately, who guided us to understand how we got in our own way. 

I didn't know I carried that shame or had those beliefs. Beneath the surface, I felt unworthy and never good enough, even though I told myself this wasn't true. Whether I believed that or not, I can't say for sure. 

I knew these—and more—life events happened and were reason enough to have the not-good-enough not-worthy-enough beliefs. These are also common beliefs; most of us experience a version of them for part of our lives, if not all. 

But those weren't my core beliefs. There was more. That underlying, body-snatching, mind-numbing, deeply-buried but driving belief that I didn't belong here... that I had no right to take up space—these were new to me. And as soon as I saw them, I knew they were true. And they were cemented in shame.  

Why this matters

Unearthing these allowed me to see how I got in my own way, heal, and then change my circumstances for good. I still sometimes fight old patterns and behaviors; they were part of me for so long that they're deeply ingrained, and in many ways, they're still part of me. But now I can appreciate them; they're part of my shadow and give me perspective. I don't recall the last time I called myself stupid—a pattern I developed, likely learned, as a teen. Awareness is the critical first step to changing these. Now I take up space, ensure my voice is heard, and in turn, I make space for other unheard voices, too. 

Brené Brown, an expert on shame (I'm sure many of you have seen her TEDTalks on shame and vulnerability or read her books), gives this definition of shame in Dare to Lead:

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection. Shame drives two tapes: 1) Not good enough, and 2) Who do you think you are? 

These beliefs keep us small. We stay in the background, don't reach for our dreams, get complacent, get comfortable with comfort. We don't take risks. We rarely achieve our potential or fully share our gifts with the world. As she notes, we put our armor on and ultimately, suffocate. 

We fear change. 
We fear risk. 
Instead, we do what we think 
keeps us safe and we 
die inside a little every day.

Shame is universal

Brown also notes that we all have shame. She gives examples: we feel ashamed when we're laid off (✔), get divorced (✔), are sexually harassed or abused (✔✔) (even though it's not our fault), or when we feel proud of something and then we're told it wasn't all that by someone whose opinion counts (✔✔✔✔...). Maybe it's just feeling disconnected, that we're unable to keep up with everything around us (✔). I'm sure you have your own examples. Sometimes, these embed themselves within us before we're even cognitively aware. 

Still not sure how or if shame shows up for you? Shame is often masked as perfectionism, blaming, and the isms (e.g., workaholism, alcoholism).

How to change your experience

First, be clear. Shame isn't guilt. Shame says we're bad; guilt says we did something bad. Brown writes, "the opposite of experiencing shame is experiencing empathy." 

The only way to release shame's hold on us is to recognize it and talk about it. To allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and look under the proverbial hood at what makes us tick. Love yourself enough to ask the hard questions and do the hard work because it's worth it: 

• Ask yourself what you believe about yourself at your core, and then ask what's underneath that. Keep asking. Be honest. 
• Look at your life events and ask what you made them mean about yourself.
• Ask whose opinion mattered more than your own, especially growing up, and whether you still believe those opinions.
• Look at your core values and make sure they're your own. 
• Think deeply about what matters most, and if you're not doing it, ask the questions again and again.

If you're not achieving what matters to you, however you define it, you may have an old belief still holding you back and getting in your way. It's worth getting a little dirty to see what might be lurking behind your awareness. You may want to work with a therapist or coach; that's what made the difference for me. 

Compassion is empathy's cousin. Be sure to be compassionate with yourself because this is hard work. And these beliefs aren't our fault. That said, we're now responsible. While I firmly believe we create our circumstances, these beliefs weren't in our conscious awareness and were adopted or learned based on the best information we had at the time. Now, with new awareness, we can let go and unlearn, and ultimately, we won't suffocate, we'll soar.  

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

Maximized, appreciated, compensated

Reach toward the sunshine
and grab onto possibilities. 

I heard this line on Gretchen Rubin's Happier podcast this morning—something a pro football player said when asked why he changed teams: I want to be maximized, appreciated, and compensated. 

It's my new mantra. 

The prolific Irish playwright (and founder of the London School of Economics) George Bernard Shaw said, "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no 'brief candle' to me. It's sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations." 

While I'm using the above mantra as I look to make a work change, it got me thinking about life in general and why knowing our worth and valuing ourselves is so important. So, some thoughts and questions for you to sit with: 

• life is short, fight for your dreams, and if you don't know what your dreams are, what lights you up? 
• don't settle; write that bucket list if you haven't already and start checking these off
• recognize when it's time to make a change because, at least during this incarnation, we only get one chance at this
• we all have unique gifts to share with the world; even if you don't know yours, or if it feels too modest, it's important
• regrets suck, so now's the time; what are you curious about? what do you want to explore, know, see, do, feel, experience before you die? 
• and if you're not sure if you can, or if you should, why not? and why NOT you? 

Take some time with these. Be honest. You're worth the time and consideration. 

As a coach I know often says, everything you want is on the other side of fear. So if that's what stops you, what's the impact of that? What's the payoff for staying safe?  

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.

We're a little like Ikea furniture

Seen at Shilshole Marina as I walked
and contemplated my future... 

Never thought of yourself as a piece of Ikea furniture? Me either.  

This analogy apparently started on the Earn Your Happy podcast but I didn't hear it so I don't know which episode. I read it on a post in one of the coaching groups I'm part of where many of the participants share what they read or heard that day, which in turn helps the others in the group grow and expand.  

Small steps lead to big results

So much of what we want comes together in small increments. Especially the big stuff—those lofty ideals and the seemingly impossible. 

Those goals and dreams we have and work so hard to achieve are a lot like the tangle of pieces and parts that come in an Ikea box. The picture shows a finished piece of furniture, but seeing all those seemingly disparate parts can feel overwhelming. And putting them together? Nothing ever goes together exactly as it should, at least not the first time. The process can be extremely frustrating. 

Eventually, though, it does come together and everything makes sense. You finally have that thing you pictured. And ideally, there aren't any 'surplus' parts alongside your finished product. 

See it, be it

But it isn't done until it's done, and in life, sometimes it looks a little different than we envisioned. That's OK; it's hard to picture exactly what we want. Unlike Ikea, it has to unfold. In life, too, we often change our picture when we're mid-way through and have new information to work with and our picture gets broader and better, or more refined. It's often with hindsight that we see how all those parts came together to form a whole we couldn't have otherwise imagined. 

What matters is whether you have the right tools, commitment to at least a partial vision, a little direction, and infinite patience. Everything happens in the right time in the right way, which isn't always on our preferred timeline. We must know what we want and hold that vision or feeling, and allow it to unfold while taking the step in front of us.

And more than anything else, not necessarily true when putting an Ikea desk together, it's important to find joy in the process... because life can be very short, and ultimately, as we've all heard so many times, it's the journey, not the destination.  

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.