Are you interested or committed? Why it matters...

When you commit wholeheartedly, nearly everything is possible.  

The multitude of lilac suckers
in my garden suggest they're
fully committed to thriving. 

Don't believe me? When you successfully achieve a goal you set for yourself, or realize a dream you have, how did you accomplish it? Were you committed to the result you wanted, or merely interested?  

There's a clear distinction between the two. 

Knowing the difference matters. 

Whatever you want to do in life, choose it, claim it, and then commit to it. If you're only interested, the odds of getting it aren't in your favor. If there's something you really want to experience, accomplish, or achieve, you must commit. 

Commitment = accomplishment...

Commitment means you will accomplish the goal you've set or the dream you desire because you'll do whatever it takes to make it happen, no matter how slow or how many obstacles show up to derail you. It's an investment of time, resources, energy... you're all in. 

For example, I'm interested in:

• Being more fit and exercising regularly so I have more energy 
• Improving my overall health by not eating sugary things
• Getting bad habits in check by re-doing a Whole30 reset
• Having greater resources in the bank by spending less and saving more

Am I doing what I must to achieve these? Partly. Recognizing as I write this, I've set goals and intentions, but clearly I'm not fully committed to doing all it takes to achieve them. There are too many shiny objects, too many squirrels, too many opportunities to eat badly and do things that don't align with what I say I want. I see progress, but based on my actions and choices, I won't get the result I want, especially in my desired time frame.


It's not willpower... 

Willpower doesn't apply. Willpower is one of those words that sends me running in the other direction, like diet, where suddenly I'm famished and want to eat anything I can, especially the things I usually say no to. 

Determination and discipline, along with clarity about what you really want, are what it takes to get what you want. If you don't think you're disciplined, think about a time you've really wanted something. What did you do? What actions did you take?  

Cherry blossoms add beauty,
and return year after year,
but they don't have the
tenacity of lilacs.

Knowing whether you're committed or interested will tell you what's really important to you. 

How to tell the difference? Notice how motivated you are to do the thing in front of you that leads toward the result you want. Sometimes we look too far ahead (it's not the mountains ahead, but the rocks in your shoe...), and it all feels too hard. You don't feel capable, or you don't have the resources you need. Maybe it suddenly feels impossible, and the voice in your head says you can't. Some of us are afraid of failing, some, of succeeding, because even success has risks. If you're commitment-phobic, that doesn't serve you. You can always change your mind if you come across new information, or replace the goal or dream with something better. 

Energy conspires in your favor... 

I've also come to believe this: Once one is committed, providence moves on your behalf.

Rightly or wrongly attributed to philosophical author Goethe, once you commit to something—fully commit—I'm certain you'll find evidence for this. 

Hindsight being 20/20, I have proved this to myself again and again, often when it comes to career choices. And whether you believe in providence, a higher power, ether, energy, meta- or quantum physics... something out there makes it true. 

You don't have to believe me. Test it. Fully commit, know it, feel it, visualize the result you want, and take the step you see in front of you. What's yours to do? If you don't know, trust it'll reveal itself and do what shows up. It may take some time, and there may be two steps forward and one step back, but I'm certain that when you look back at some point in the future, you'll see how things have opened up to help you get where you want to go.  

I think I first heard this in Landmark Education's The Forum a lifetime ago, when I and all my workmates did this crazy thing together in Vancouver. Three days in a room filled with rules seemed over the top, but having spent that time together and learned the things we learned, we accomplished more than we expected during a year-long project bringing music and tourism to British Columbia. It was intense, but it was fun, and this, and a number of other learnings from that time, stuck with me. 

Test it!

What do you want to achieve today? This week? This year? In your lifetime? Are you interested or are you committed? Try it today—what will you commit to just for today? Like they say in 12-step programs, just for today is a great place to start. Just for today, commit to one thing to test the result. Be sure you're committed, though, and not just interested. 

Here's one to try if you're stuck. Today, commit to loving yourself fully. What would that look like? Do you feed your body the fuel it needs to function or do you feed your emotions for comfort? What's the result? Do you get outside and get some air and walk for exercise? Are your actions aligned with your goals and desires? Do you do the things you say are important to you? At the end of the day, what do you want to be able to say you did, felt, experienced? Claim it, commit to it, and see what happens.  

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.

10 years: On anniversaries, getting started, starting over, and now

Our garden path, today

This month marks 10 years since I first wrote in this space—full of hope, excitement, and commitment to this new journey of writing—and gardening. 

The beginning

Growing Things started as a gardening blog, when we launched a community garden in our yard through Urban Garden Share, an online matching service for gardeners and homeowners (you can read more about that in the 'about' sidebar). But it quickly became personal when, a few months later, my partner and I separated after 13 years together. 

That first year I wrote with fervid commitment—at first it was fun as we transformed the garden space, and then it became a place to share my challenges, my pain, to express, and be witnessed. The name "growing things" took on new meaning, and the garden became a metaphor. 

Backyard

After that, even though the garden thrived, the blog languished as work and life took over. Just over a year after separating, he and I got back together, and began putting the pieces of "us" together in a new, different, and ultimately better way. 

Starting over

With help from an extraordinary therapist, he and I learned to relate to each other differently, to talk with each other and hear each other while noticing and monitoring our own filters. We learned to call each other on our stuff, gently but clearly, and even laugh about it, too. We both learned we got in our own way, and it was the "I" in the relationship who could fix it, not the we. So we focused on ourselves, and became capable of moving forward independently and together—interdependent, as we learned to call it. 

In the years following that first year, I worked hard to find my voice, both here and in real life. To speak up, not withhold or wither, to know my worth, know my value. To understand that life just is, and continue to nurture new ways of thinking and being. I still struggle on occasion with these—with my own self-confidence and the limiting beliefs that linger in the background, threatening to unearth themselves and derail me. 

But overall, I wouldn't trade any of these experiences. I've learned to be comfortable being uncomfortable, to be more brave, and that without challenges and pain, my life would be very different, and far less satisfying. 

Recommitting

Together and separately, we have dreams, goals, and ideas, respect how each other interacts with the world, and know we both act with our best interests in mind—no longer in our own way, or that of each other. 

Early years

Since this online journal came to be, he's traveled the world by ship, I've had a couple different jobs, and thanks to life's constant insistence that we grow and not get complacent, we've had many opportunities to further our inward journeys. 

To say it's occasionally been a slog, well, yes. Yes it has. Nothing seems to move at the pace we'd prefer. We've had countless bumps, hills, roadblocks, potholes, and the occasional crater slow us down. His recent work injury is the latest crater, with a 9 - 18 month healing window and an inability to do much with his right arm due to intense shoulder pain. A few years ago, I was laid off when my employer re-organized and I nosedived into a confidence crisis. A few years earlier, he took a circuitous route to a career change that required more learning and growing. And within those 10 years, our three precious furkids all took turns going over the rainbow bridge and for the first time, we are without cats. 

"In the shade of the old apple tree,
there's a place just for you and for me... "

And here we are, 10 years later. I'm still writing. We're stronger together. The garden continued until two years ago, when we ended the relationship with the current garden partners and made plans to sell the property. That's one of those slow parts—two years later, the city is still backlogged and we haven't moved forward. While my heart will ache when we finally say goodbye—I have often said I'd miss the Gravenstein more than I'd miss the house I live in, the tree and the property require more time, money, and resources than I can give them. It's more complicated than I'll go into here, but the house and garden are on separate lots, and given circumstances, keeping the house makes more sense than keeping the garden. 

While I'd love to kick things into higher gear—his healing, his work goals, the property sale, my developing career and personal goals, travel plans—there's not much I'd change. I know that through pain, we grow, and without it, we wouldn't have joy. 

We have a lot of joy in our lives, and much to be grateful for—good friends both near and far, a warm and (mostly) comfortable home, nourishing food, overall health, our careers (and my job), cars that get us where we're going, and plenty of resources and tools when we need them. We've even hung onto some of those earliest gardeners who became our friends, and I'm so grateful they continue on this journey with us. 

Lush life: first year with Urban Garden Share.  Shiv, 
our neighbor, often sang mantras to the plants, saying it 
helped them grow. Together, we created something amazing.  

This year I recommitted to writing and for the most part, I've penned my thoughts about once a week. Some posts take longer than others, or morph in an unexpected direction, so which day they publish isn't guaranteed. But I have a lot more to say and share, hopefully with insights that help those who join me here. Stay tuned. 

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.

The road to more might just be less

How often have you heard: It's not about the destination but instead about the journey? 

I think most of us now recognize what's important—our time, relationships, and experience on this earthly plane. It's less about stuff—how much you have or what you have, for the most part. 

That doesn't mean we don't like stuff. But maybe an intangible we acquired along the way is more discernment, or at least the recognition that material things don't innately equal happiness. Among those born in the late 1900s or early 2000s, living with less may even be trendy—whether by choice or by necessity depends on your research.  


We live differently than previous generations

Lifestyles change over time. That said, I'm finding some irony here. 

The main floor of my house is just over 900 square feet, and I have a partial basement that's unfinished, used mostly for laundry and storing tools and seasonal stuff, like lawn chairs. It's less about the size, but I complain regularly about the function. I have pea-sized closets, minimal kitchen cupboards, and no designated household cabinets—perfectly adequate for previous generations. But my lifestyle is different, and even as I move toward less, I have greater storage needs. More closet space is my idea of heaven.  

C'est la vie... 

So why is less more important now? Time. That's a key reason. But let's expand the definition of less. 

Our toxic load

For me, having fewer clothing items means less energy spent deciding what to wear, and more space for things that matter, like an inflatable bed for guests, and the right-size linens. It means fewer items to collect dust, which I'm allergic to. 

However, it also means fewer toxins in my cosmetics, fewer pesticides and chemicals in my food, less environmentally unfriendly and unhealthy plastic in my kitchen and bathroom, and more space for people and projects, and ultimately and ideally, fewer contributions to the landfill, and fewer of my plastic bags washing up on a beach or ingested by the fish I eat. All of this leads to better health, a safer environment, and greater freedom. 

Freedom? 

You bet. Freedom to choose how I want to spend my time and money. Freedom to create more experiences. Freedom to let go of attachments.  

When you're ready...

I've been on the road to living with fewer toxins, chemicals, and plastics for years, but I couldn't let go of my attachments to stuff, particularly clothes. The more I read about plastic in fleece, chemicals in our clothing, and the waste involved in processing, the more I wanted to stop propping up my self-worth with something new to wear. But it was hard. It was a habit. And it made me feel better—what every product marketer aims for.  

At the beginning of 2018, I read Cait Flander's The Year of Less, followed immediately by Courtney Carver's Be More With Less (I wrote about these, and a full reset, here). These books were instrumental in my shift to both living with and attaching sentiment to fewer things, and along with a few other tools, replacing the habit and ego-boost with healthier options.  

You know what to do...

You know you should exercise, right? But do you? You know you should drink less soda. But do you? Are you like me and know you have some weight to lose, but are you willing to do what it takes? If your answer is no, you know what I mean. 

We do things when we're ready. Sometimes we get a big fat wake-up call, a proverbial two-by-four across the side of the head. Sometimes, we just get it, and we start. No conscious rationale.  

More of what you really want

Ultimately, don't we all want more time, optimal wellness, satisfying relationships? I do. That's where the road to less leads—to more. 

Hats from my collection that
I gave away. One trick to letting go of
sentimental things: take pictures.
Then say thank you and goodbye. 

Don't get me wrong; I still like stuff. I have a penchant for vintage, and I'm still pretty sentimental. I'll be hard-pressed to off-load what's left of my vintage hat collection, or my books. But having less stuff makes life easier, healthier, and better. 

This path has also caused me to look at my attachments—to beliefs, to people, to ideas, and assessing what fits and what doesn't. The result? Less stress, more fulfillment, greater appreciation, (getting closer to) optimal wellness, and even a stronger sense of self. 

Decide what matters

As I assess my winter wardrobe—what to put away until next year, what to set aside for the swap, or what to send to the thrift store, I'm attempting my own version of Marie Kondo, having never actually read her book nor watched her on Netflix. What adds value? What takes or gives energy? What triggers frustration or adds satisfaction? These are all good questions to ask, and can lead you down a road to more. 

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.

Ukelele happiness

While searching online for background music to accompany an affirmation I'm recording, the Somewhere over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World medley by Israel "Iz" Kamakawiwo'ole popped up in the YouTube sidebar. 

I couldn't help but click and listen; it never fails to make me smile.

Recorded more than 25 years ago, this version of the song that made Judy Garland famous in the Wizard of Oz has brought joy to millions of listeners. Many stumbled across this long after Iz ventured over the rainbow in 1997 at just 38. While he accomplished so much more in his short life, he's most famous outside of his native Hawaii for this recording, which continued to grow in popularity long after his death. Now, that's a legacy!

It's never too late to consider your legacy 

While we can't all record a song that touches hearts across time, cultures, and geography, we all leave a legacy, intentional or not.

Contemplating that legacy is a good tool to take stock of where you are and where you're headed because it's never too late to shift gears. If you discover the direction you're headed in doesn't inspire you or in some way feel like you're on the right track, this is a great time to course-correct.

Think about what you want your life to look like, and notice if your work, relationships, and activities are aligned with what you want to ultimately experience, be known for, or leave behind. I know I have some work to do here, but it's not a one-time opportunity. If you miss the mark on one day, you can start over the next.

A baby step is still a step

What's important is to keep moving forward. One foot in front of the other. Baby steps, while they may feel frustrating, will still get you there, albeit much more slowly.

And if you need a quick lift, listen to this heartwarming classic and smile. Remember that we're all headed over the rainbow at some point, and it's what we do between now and then that counts.

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.

Things I want to punch

Intentionality: This bird gets it!

Forget passion. Instead, what do you want to punch, asks Leap Frog author and acquaintance Nathalie Molina Niño. She knows a thing or five about this. She has started, funded, or grown numerous companies, among other countless achievements. 

Her recently-published book is directed at women entrepreneurs, but it's a good question for all of us to think about if we want to make the world a better place, improve our own experience, or make a difference in some way. 

Do what you love? 

The huge focus of the last decade or so on following your passion or doing what you love makes sense for some, but not everyone is clear about what that is. Some of us never dreamed, and some have no time because we're working too much or caring for others. Even if we are clear, we may be clueless about how to prioritize it or, ideally, make a living at it. 

So instead, consider: What do you want to fix? What would you like to be different? What makes you mad? Getting clear on this might just lead you to uncover those beneath-the-surface passions. We don't need to be visionaries to change the world, start a business, or even find more satisfaction in our lives. What makes us mad could be enough. 

...we have endless opportunities

Molina Niño suggests we list the 10 things we want to punch. That's where the opportunities lie. Who can't come up with a list of 10? The book is filled with hacks for self-employment or for those who want to scale their business; it's also loaded with success stories that can be applied to life experiences outside of self-employment.  

Corporate culture is one of those things that's had my back up for most of my working life. I have long felt that corporate life is unhealthy—yet that's where I spend most of my days. I found evidence of that again just this week. 

Empowerment? Not so much... .

Here's (just) one of those things I'd like to punch. I had my annual review, an archaic process that ultimately exists for two reasons: a paper trail for performance issues, and compensation—what your pay should be. The implied or stated intent, however, is to help employees grow, improve, and stay focused on objectives. 

There are better ways... 

There wasn't anything wrong with my review. I do my work, and I do it well. But I find even good reviews undermine that intent because 1) someone else decides my worth, what I'm good at, and my 'growth opportunities' largely based on their bias and opinion (and of course, company needs, not mine), and 2) there are better ways to motivate and offer feedback. True, I gave them permission in exchange for a paycheck. If 'driving performance' to increase earnings is the organization's modus operandi, which, frankly, is true of nearly all corporations, there are better ways. Some of the larger Fortune 500 companies already know this and do it differently. 

Research shows that when we're able to live more purposefully and authentically, when we experience more satisfaction, we're actually more productive, at work or in life overall. Most of us already know what we do well, where we have room to grow, and at least have an inkling of what we want our life experience to be like. But we settle, often for the 'security' of a paycheck or because that's what we know. 

We don't have to.  

Ask why

An exercise during a recent online workshop asked us to find the 'why' behind the choices we make and actions we take. It asked us to go deeper than the traditional 'ask why five times' per the Lean process from which it derived, and instead ask seven times to find our ultimate intrinsic motivation. 

While I haven't gone that deep yet, one layer of my why is to help people change the way they experience work, and to humanize the workplace. I do this with some coaching clients, and to a lesser degree, in my communications role. But Nathalie's question, the deep dive into why, and my review, piqued my curiosity about how I might take this further. I don't have answers yet, but it feels worthy of exploring.  

Anger motivates 

Did you read my recent post about anger? Anger is information, and it's loaded with energy. Certainly there are more things I want to proverbially punch, and I'm sure you have a few, too. This is good—it means you can use that information to change the world for the better. 

We don't need to impact or influence thousands or even hundreds of people. One small change in ourselves, be it action step or mindset, also leads to change in our immediate sphere, and that leads to the butterfly effect that radiates outward and ultimately creates positive change in the world. We have more power than we think we do. 

Do what's yours to do

We don't have to want to change the world, but most of us have something in our lives we'd like to be different, whether at work, at home, or when we're out in the world, even among friends and family. 

We don't even have to know exactly what it is, or how to do it. What we must do is notice what isn't fair, isn't right, or doesn't work. As noted, even the smallest action can create big change. 

Know your value, know your worth. Then do what shows up in front of you—whether it's an idea, a cause, an action step—because it will. And if you know why it's important to you, you can't be stopped. 

So what makes you angry? What do you want to punch? 


If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.

Mindfulness habits to do every day

I'm cheating a little this week in my commitment to write a post a week. Back when I worked for a health insurance company, I wrote wellness posts for their lifestyle blog. Most of those posts are no longer available, and there were several I really liked, including this one. It originally posted on Nov. 3, 2013, and for posterity, I'm posting it here (with a few minor modifications). 


60 Seconds of Mindfulness

I have a hamster wheel in my head. The speed and velocity of the spinning depend on whatever's going on in my world at a given time—I have a busy job and I'm in a training program that takes up many of my non-work hours. Conscious effort is needed to slow the spinning, and maintaining any kind of regular meditation practice is a continual challenge. 

On a whim, I picked up an Eckhart Tolle CD about meditation while shopping at my local food co-op. Author of The Power of Now, I'm only loosely familiar with Tolle's work. I've found while conceptually I like his work, I don't love his writing. But I digress.

While I don't always practice it, I've long subscribed to the notion that the point of power is in the present moment. The CD's subtitle is, "practicing presence in every moment of your life," so I thought I'd give it a shot. 

The nugget came early in the CD. Tolle says even those who achieve great states of consciousness when they meditate may still have gaps in their daily lives. He suggests finding ways to bring presence into everyday life, recommending mini-meditations—something you can do wherever you are. For example, every time you get in your car, take 30 seconds to practice being present. 

Mini-meditation? I was intrigued. Now I have a daily practice of two 60-second meditations, once before I leave my driveway for work in the morning, and again when I leave work in the evening. I knew I needed a reminder until I formed a habit, so I put a sticker on my dashboard that reads :60. An unwitting passenger might see this as a note-to-self to do the speed limit on the freeway, but I know differently. 

My 60-second meditations change daily, but I typically focus on one of the following.  


Presence

To stay present in the moment, I may focus on my breath, noticing my inhales and exhales. Sometimes I check in with how I feel both inside and out. For example, when I'm aware of my current anxiety, as I focus for 60 seconds, it dissipates. Or I notice that the temperature is cold, and I'm suddenly more cognizant of my immediate physical surroundings. I may hear birds or traffic, and rather than worrying about my to-do list, I'll focus on what I hear. 

Gratitude

I have so much to be grateful for, yet it's sometimes easy to forget when the day-to-day gets in the way. I direct my attention here: I have a great job, a comfortable home, a partner who loves me, and I'm healthy. Some days, it's just the little things (like fuzzy slippers, dry shoes, or having money for lunch). 

Setting intentions

What do I want to create or accomplish today? Intentions look to the future, but they're stated as if they already exist. These help keep me focused and mindful throughout the day, responding rather than reacting to whatever shows up.

Stating affirmations

Affirmations are a bit like exercise. Do them enough and they can help shift your thinking, break a habit, or reinforce your stated intentions. Even something as simple as, "I'm capable and I can do this" in moments of self-doubt can have exceptional results. 

It may only be two minutes a day, but it works. I started this practice a few months ago, and I've noticed I'm more focused and calm. I can also apply this technique if the day starts getting the best of me, anytime, anywhere. While the hamster wheel may still spin, it's spinning less often and not nearly as fast. 


If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.

5 simple steps to take when nothing feels possible...

Spring is late this year;
the crocus only just showed its colors.
Nighttime temps are still in the 30s (F). 

Maybe it's just Mercury in retrograde. I'm not very versed in what that means, but when others remind me, I usually say, "Oh! Now it makes sense!" 

What I notice is that something doesn't feel right. Planetarily, Mercury went retro on March 5, so that could explain my last week or so.

I've felt a little SAD (for those who live in sunnier climes, that's Seasonal Affective Disorder—an acronym that actually describes its associated feeling) and unproductive. I couldn't put my finger on why, even with valid reasons like a long winter and painful anniversaries of long-past March events.

I don't track retrograde dates, and...  should there be actual truth to the retrograde effect, those who know say it contributes to crossed communication, unexpected tensions, missed connections, etc. Rather than make bold moves, sign contracts, or have heartfelt conversations, they say it's a better time to reflect and just be. However, I know some of us don't do this well without prompting.

So let this be your prompt. 

Take time out, stop, think, and contemplate what you want your world to look like, be like. The time for action will come—just not yet.

Here's a list of simple, albeit not always easy, self-care strategies to use until you can take your next steps. It might require some mental gymnastics or shifting some energy, but you can do that. There's not a lot of 'action' in these steps.

1. Be compassionate and forgiving of yourself. Feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, ineffectiveness, or just low energy, can show up and stop us. Remember this happens to everyone, even though our social media highlight reels make that seem untrue. Here's a line I've read and heard numerous times: Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides.  
2. Check your self talk. If your inner critic is doing all the talking, think about how you'd talk to your best friend. Then do that for yourself. What would you want that friend to tell you right now? Say that. And say it over and over, even if you don't believe it.  
3. Take stock and do small things. What are you able to do right now? Can you go for a walk? Have coffee with a friend? Maybe listen to a meditation app like Insight Timer or affirmations online. If it's too much work to make a green smoothie, can you buy one? If you usually pray but can't, listen to the Hawaiian Hoʻoponopono. Whatever you can do, do that, and acknowledge yourself for it. Know that food and exercise affect your mood, so even small tweaks can help lift the fog. 
4. Be grateful. Every day, remind yourself and reflect on what you're grateful for in that moment. 
5. Surrender. Sometimes, that's all there is to do. I've found that word coming out of my mouth more times than not lately. My word, or theme, for the year, is manifest... but perhaps surrender must come first.  

And here's a bonus step. Ask for help. I add this as a bonus because most of us can't, or won't, ask. It's a very hard thing for many to do. But it's also important. And if you can't, or won't, ask someone with the physical or emotional means to help, then say it out loud or write it down and let the universe, your higher power, or whatever you believe, think, or hope might be out there, know. Ask for what you need and be specific.

It gets better...

Even during our darkest hours, there's always something to hope for and be grateful for. As Leonard Cohen sang, the cracks are how the light gets in. When we're stuck and pondering, frustrated and worried, we can trust that answers will come, and at some point, everything will look better and brighter than before. It's almost always true.

Note I say this from a place of relative comfort—I am healthy, partnered, and I have a job and a home. I know at least one of these isn't true right now for people I care deeply about. Still, despite the sadness I feel and my desire to take their pain away, I must trust that what happens in our lives leads to our highest and greatest good. I know it's been true for me, and I've had some hard knocks.

When we stop learning and leaning in to life, even its hardships, we stop living. And damned if that hard sh*t doesn't move us forward in ways we couldn't have imagined. It won't feel like it at the time, and likely won't for a long time, until one day we look back in hindsight and realize we're thankful for what we gained. We learn to navigate, and with that, we get closer to having the lives we want, when so much more is possible.

Mercury leaves retrograde on the 28th, when spring will be in full swing. So if waiting it out is what you've got, do one of those small things listed above. Even if they feel hard. They'll keep the momentum moving so that when the fog lifts, you can take that next step, and maybe even leap.

What's your strategy when the fog rolls in thick and heavy, and nothing feels possible? Let me know what works for you.

If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here. 

If you can dream it...

Living the dream... 

Usually that's said with sarcasm. But isn't living the dream what we all want? 

And... most of us slog through our days, far from the dreams we assumed we'd achieve.  

What about you? Do you still have unfulfilled dreams?  

I'm a product of the 70s, and perhaps consequently, a sucker for a great guitar solo. But not just any guitar solo. I'd argue that the best of the best is Frank Zappa's Watermelon in Easter Hay from Joe's Garage. 

Before Frank launches into the solo, however, we hear from the Central Scrutinizer: 

Joe has just worked himself into an imaginary frenzy... 
He begins to feel depressed... he knows the end is near... 
He has realized at last that imaginary guitar notes and imaginary vocals exist only in the mind of the imaginer. 
And ultimately, who gives a fuck anyway???... 

My central scrutinizer, the one I call my inner mean girl, what some call their inner critic or gremlin, can stop me flat. 

Usually when we put our dreams aside, it's because life gets in the way, or we're afraid of what others might think, that we'll be judged, or that we're not good enough, not capable enough. We scrutinize our dreams, think they're ridiculous, or that we're ridiculous, and give them up, because, really, who gives a fuck anyway? There was a time when my "who gives a fuck" was "why bother... nobody cares... why should I care...?"


We're our own creative force... 

I go to a little spiritual center on the occasional Sunday, an affiliate of the Center for Spiritual Living and based on the principles of Science of Mind. This year's theme is built around the book, The 12 Conditions of a Miracle, about creating miracles in our everyday lives, and ultimately, about keeping dreams alive and making them real. 

I got goosebumps last Sunday when the guest singer, Michelle Chappel, sang another 70s classic, and my past, present and future collided into a jumbled bundle of emotion. I thought about dreams unrealized, maybe dreams never dreamed because I didn't know I could dream... but I also felt hopeful, about dreams now unfolding.  

Find your gold... 

What kid didn't want to win a golden ticket? Who doesn't want to win the proverbial gold? 

Hold your breath

Make a wish, count to three...

Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination...

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanna change the world?
There's nothing to it

There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be

Nothing like a kid in a candy store, except a kid in a magic candy factory. Talk about dreams! Pure Imagination, sung by Gene Wilder in the original Willy Wonka, is as magical and hopeful today as it was then. 

Mind candy...

We all have dreams. As I wrote this post, so many songs about dreams came to mind. Clearly, our dreams are important. They're in part what gives our lives meaning. Another favorite: The Impossible Dream from Man from La Mancha. Or how about this from Pinocchio? 

When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are... Anything your heart desires will come to you...

What do you wish for, long for, hope for? What do you still want to realize before you leave this mortal plane? Sometimes it's as simple, albeit not easy, as shifting perspective, of seeing what's in front of you in new light, feeling grateful for the good you do have, and making the connection to your dream. 

Sometimes, however, there might be very real actions you can take to start living those dreams. 

Now might be the time to check in and see what dreams are still worth pursuing, and then move that dream from the mind of the imaginer to your own real life. Create your own golden ticket by taking a step or two every day to make it happen. 

Because when the end is near, you're the only one you have to answer to. It's your life you'll look back on. You're the only one who has to give a fuck. 

Dream it. Do it. No regrets. 



If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here. 

The point of power

You have the power to change, right where you are, in the present moment...

For some, the word 'mantra' applies to meditation; mantras used for this are usually common and help quiet the mind's non-stop parade of thoughts. I call my guiding principles mantras because that's often the purpose they serve—quotes and phrases that randomly show up in my life and stick because they're useful, and get repeated regularly. 

I'm a long-time fan of Louise Hay. I read her book, You Can Heal Your Life, around it's original publish date. While I can't vouch for all the correlations she makes, she popularized the idea of the mind / body connection, and several of her quotes embedded themselves in my brain's deep recesses at an early age.  

I didn't intentionally memorize these. They settled in over the years, unwittingly, and now surface at relevant moments in time. They help me solve problems, guide my actions, and keep me focused. 

Ken Keyes Handbook to Higher Consciousness, a book I read in a college sociology class, offered one: I feel with loving compassion the problems of others without getting caught up emotionally in what they need for their growth. 

I have repeated this more times than I can count, and I've shared it with others who also find it useful. It's like the gift that keeps giving; it keeps me sane, helps me be clear on where I'm responsible and where I'm not, and allows others to have their experience without me getting in the way.  

Be present...

However, the one mantra I say more than any other is from Louise: The point of power is in the present moment. 

Meaning, we only have this moment, right now, right here. We can't change the past, and we can't see the future. We have what's immediately in front of us. 

Choose wisely...

A coaching premise is that we are all "at choice" even though we're often not conscious of this. Not making a choice, or a decision, is also a choice; we're just not usually happy with what shows up when we abdicate our options. That's why it's important to aim for increased mindfulness and being intentional about what we do every day. For example:  

• What decision or choice can you make right now to get the results you want? 
• What one thing can you do to support the life you long for? 
• What step must you take in this moment to move toward your goals? 
• Does the thought you're thinking right now help or hinder, empower or disapprove? 
• Do your current actions lead you where you want to go? 

Every moment offers a new opportunity to do something different. If you don't like the direction you're headed, you can change it. If you aren't happy with something in your life, redirect it. If what's in your head is a better foe than friend, change your thoughts (more Louise: change your thoughts, change your life). 

Stay present. Be conscious. If you have trouble staying present, stop and breathe. A few deep breaths will bring you back into your body and take you out of your head, and place you right where you need to be—in the present moment.  


Inclusive, not exclusive...  

And, because it's more important than ever right now, and in our collective conscious, for those who would suggest I check my privilege, I'm blatantly aware of my good fortune: to be born in this particular pocket of North America at this particular time in history, among other advantages, it's relatively easy for me to say these things—and I also know that while much, much harder for many, changing your circumstances isn't impossible, even though I know it can seem that way. For some, the idea of choice isn't even a reality. But that doesn't make it untrue.

I have much to be grateful for, including this awareness. Because of this, I help others find their path and guide them toward change. What a better world we'd live in if we were all able to recognize the power we have in the present moment of our own lives.  

Thanks for being here. 


If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.