Grace required: the end of this pandemic winter

Outside, the birds are singing and the plants are budding. 

As we say goodbye to winter and embrace the scents, sounds, and sights of spring, there's light at the end of this pandemic tunnel. Here in the northwest corner of these "united" states, the days are longer, it's light later, and on the horizon is a vaccine for everyone who wants one, even though the rollout—for some of us—is excruciatingly slow.  

Experience shared, but different 

What that means is that many of us are still hunkered down, tucked in at home, keeping ourselves and others safe, with some semblance of a meaningful life, while some venture out more safely. Some of us are exhausted, some are traumatized, some assess their risks and do what they must to stay sane, while the truly introverted relish the quiet and lowered expectations. 

When we finally put this year-long pandemic winter to bed, such as there will be an end, we will have some form of collective PTSD. While many of us have experienced trauma previously, none of us have experienced trauma together, so broadly, collectively; in this case, myriad losses, challenges, and major life changes due to a pandemic.  

Grace, required.  

To expect normalcy now and in the future is expecting too much. And while "normal" has a nice ring to it after what has seemed abnormal for so long now, an important question to ask is, "What do I want now?" Were the 'before times' all that or is there a better tomorrow ahead? 

While we are, generally speaking, a resilient and capable society, priding ourselves on productivity, we'll need time to reflect, regroup, and assign meaning to this experience. We must re-evaluate our expectations, and while I believe the last year had all of us assessing meaning and priorities, this may look different as we step back into "real" life. 

As we emerge, much has changed. Some of our favorite places are gone. Our habits have likely changed, both good and bad. And we may have lost friends or family, whether to the virus, other health conditions, or to personal beliefs we learned were too different from our own. 

Some of us are already working through this, but others will need more time because what's true for many is that dreams were paused, goals revised, priorities re-evaluated. To borrow from my corporate life, what do you want to stop, start, or keep? 

Personally, I feel like I'm coming out of a long hibernation, an endless winter with few interactions. I'm still head down, working deadline-to-deadline, staying home, staying safe until it's my turn for a vaccine, but hope is in the air and not far away. But as I shake off the dregs of winter, I'm thinking about what's next. 

I hope you'll give yourself grace to be, do, and feel different for a while. Take this time as we emerge to learn and experience the world a little more personally, more mindfully. Remember, your point of power is in *this* moment. 

What do you want to take away from this year of change?  

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A simple mindset shift changes everything

Callas: a symbol of
purity or death,
depending on what you
believe: kill that self-
defeating self-talk and
replace it with pure goodness.

Louise Hay first taught me to "change my thoughts, change my life" back in the 1980s when she published You Can Heal Your Life. I've used this strategy many times since, although sometimes it takes me a while to get there. It's simple, but not easy, and my brain's been known to play tricks. 

For example, a simple abundance lesson... My self-talk around money for a long time was two-fold: there's never enough, and I can't afford it. I didn't have good money models growing up, with mom living paycheck to paycheck or on credit, with plenty of emotional shop therapy. I see now how our money mindsets are much deeper than they appear.  

Clarify your priorities...

Checking your mindset about money, your self-worth, and what you believe you deserve are all pieces of your financial well-being. When I finally let go of those two beliefs, and dug deeper around other beliefs that impacted my well-being, like what I can have and what I can't, my financial well-being improved. Now, I no longer say I can't afford it. Instead, I have choices: 

• this is or isn't how I want to spend my money; 
• it is or isn't a priority; 
• it is or isn't aligned with what I say I want... 
• and if it's something I really want but the money isn't in the bank, I can focus on creating better circumstances to get it. Once committed, providence moves... 

...But I'll add a caveat: We have to know the stories we tell ourselves and actively work to change them to change our experience. 

Rethink your words

I had a huge a-ha the other morning.

I mentioned in my last post I started a 10-day Life Optimization challenge, which starts out with some intense (for me, given how little I do lately) exercise. I found myself thinking, "I'm really out of shape." There's a Facebook member group where participants share our experience, and someone else wrote something similar. But coach and facilitator Ryan Niddel's response took that "change my thoughts, change my life" mindset to a new level for me.  

His response? Instead say, "It feels so good to be getting in shape again."

Mic drop. 

So simple, but so big.  

Change your energy...

When I shifted my focus, my energy changed immediately. Until then, my backstory was: this is a ton of work; I'm never going to get back in shape; I don't know if I can do this... and I was a little sad, frustrated and discouraged. But that one shift in self-talk changed everything. My energy level increased. I now feel encouraged and hopeful. The pain in my arms and abdominals almost feels good! At least, it's a very present reminder that I'm doing something good for myself.

Lily of the valley
symbolizes a
"return to happiness"

...Change your experience

Another story: A woman in the group didn't have all the ingredients for the green smoothie we added on day 2, nor the money to buy them. But on day 3, she decided she was worth the investment, and used the last of her money to buy the ingredients because of that mindset message. She looked radiant in the selfie she posted (selfies are required; yet another step out of my comfort zone). 

On his podcast, Ryan recently talked about a similar situation when looking for a new office. He has several options available, all at different price points, and the amenities that either do or don't come with that. As he ponders his choices... does he want to play small or step into something bigger? How will each of these options make him feel about his business? About going to work every day? What impact will his environment have on his productivity? Will spending more on something he truly desires create a better outcome? Will spending less contribute to playing smaller? 

These types of decisions have the potential to be self-fulfilling prophecies... Just sayin'... 

That's not to say we should behave irresponsibly, but how do we decide what's responsible or if it just keeps us safe and playing small? 

What we tell ourselves has consequences

These stories are worthy of consideration when we think about the messages we tell ourselves and the impact they have on our lives. Our self-talk affects our work, our relationships, how we live, even the friends we have. 

How does what you say in your head directly influence your actions, and your results? When you think about what you want your life to look like, and how you feel about yourself, are they in alignment? And if not, what do you need to do to close the gap? How can you change your thinking to change what you experience? 


If you like this post, or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find out more here.