The answer is gratitude

Sombrio Beach, BC

A fresh start, a clean slate, a new year... Don't we all have high hopes for the year ahead when the clock strikes midnight and a new year begins?

I do. However, few of us have an easy time during the holidays, which largely culminate on New Year's Day. Family dynamics, our financial circumstances, our health, and so much more impact how we feel on this first day out. 

That's why it helps me to see this day as a continuation; while it is a new day, New Year's Day is, in reality, a 'next' day in a continuum. 

But today, as another day starts and this new year begins, I'm worried. Mindful that worry has power, I know feeling gratitude is key. And... 

Worry activates a future we don't want...

There's a lot of noise in the world, and there's little I can do about it. Yet, my worry list continually repeats the negatives from the inputs of the day: 

• our currently precarious economy, a government shutdown, a potential wall and rampant isms
• increased property crime in my 'hood, and how those tasked to protect and serve don't, won't, or can't
• the hardships so many currently experience (and how my usual mantra, "I feel with loving compassion..." isn't appropriate for all circumstances right now)
• what happens to others because of bias 
• a seeming lack of kindness, consideration, and civility everywhere

I know worry doesn't serve me or the world. I can't project the future; I'm making assumptions and projecting. Imagining the worst.  

Why is it so hard to imagine the best???  

Socially, we're conditioned to imagine the worst, but it's deeper than that. Genetically, worry and fear saved us. Today, though, life is rarely life threatening (for those of us with privilege). (An aside: imagining is an important tool, however; read The Gift of Fear and The Unthinkable -- books I highly recommend to everyone.) 

Be intentional with your words

Words have power. They can guide us and help us stay on track. One approach I take is choosing an annual word to represent where I want to focus each year, and this helps me imagine the best. 

My word for 2016 was invest. And then, not long after the start of the year, I was laid off. Suddenly, investment looked very different than I initially intended, and I re-interpreted that word to invest in myself -- internal confidence, skill building, and building community. 

In 2017, my words were expansiveness and spaciousness, and I see how these played out, although again, differently than initially intended. I started two new jobs, took on new challenges, drove cross-country, built new networks, furthered community, shifted more limiting beliefs, and developed practices to support positive change. 

Vancouver Island

In 2018, my word was deliberate -- focusing on experiences, not 'stuff', learning my new job, and practicing self-care. I tracked my spending, and in most ways, spent less. I changed my diet, lost 12 pounds, and at the end of the year, my blood work was the best its been in years. I went to more concerts, saw more shows, spent more time with friends, and mostly stayed true to my focus and beliefs. 

Words are my framework; they motivate me, support me, re-engage me. I've made countless changes in my life in part because of using words deliberately, including creating a solid foundation with my partner. We have done the work, and we've landed in a good place, with a future we can look forward to.  

Now it's time to reap the rewards of that work. So I'm leaning toward manifest or fruition as my word(s) for 2019.

But first... gratitude. Gratitude is my keyword. It underpins everything else. It's at my essence and is essential for managing life's curve balls. Because we may not achieve everything we've planned for 2019; we still have challenges ahead and all those worries I mentioned. There's so much we can't control.  

Changing the dialogue...  

I believe consciousness is cause. I also believe we're all capable and creative. And it's up to me to direct my inner dialogue away from that which doesn't help. 

So, here goes. 2019 is the year I: 

• deepen my belief that everything works for me, even if it doesn't always seem that way 
• repair my relationship with money, making that work better for me, too
• get my house in order, literally and figuratively
• own my worth--not just know it, but own it, and accept nothing less
• write more
• ... and try harder to believe in miracles... 

I recently heard the questions, "What miracles would you love to experience this year? What would be an outrageous good and transform your world?" I'm going to ponder these for the next week or so and see what shows up. 

The key to manifesting miracles is gratitude. Living from gratitude makes our days look brighter and more seems possible. Add in grace, compassion, and forgiveness, and it's a mixture for deeper satisfaction.  

I don't want for anything--I have a warm, comfortable home, a loving partner who's a staunch companion, a good job with a steady paycheck, a satisfying social network, and I'm generally healthy in mind, body, and spirit. 

That's a lot to be grateful for. And for now, that's really all I need to focus on. Because with gratitude, all things are possible. 

It's a new year... now what?

Blue world

For many, this is a time to make resolutions - things to accomplish throughout the year, or by an upcoming date. Often stated as goals, they're specific and potentially measurable, but they rarely address root issues, so they often fail. There's a lot of writing around the web about this, with a lot of "what to do instead" offerings.

One of the best I've read so far is by author and self-help guru Mark Manson, His recent, Your Goals are Overrated (NSFW or if you're easily offended by language), talks about developing habits rather than setting goals or making resolutions, and he offers six habits he considers worth cultivating: exercise, cooking, meditation, reading, writing and socializing. These all come with various benefits, both immediate and compounded.

Invest in you; you're worth it

My takeaway, though, is his distinction between spending and investing. And having read this, I've decided to have a theme for the year, and it's "invest". My time, my energy, my money. Everything. This is a really a mindset shift for me; while I'm not unfamiliar with investing, to think about so many things from this perspective suddenly makes so much sense. I may say more about this over the next few months.

Typically I take the first few weeks of the year to reflect on the year prior and imagine, dream and set intentions for the year ahead. I know big changes are coming, and they're probably even overdue. But I haven't yet taken the time these first couple weeks of the year.

Because ... time... that's one thing I anticipate having more of soon.

As I reflect, I recognize that sometimes we have to cut our losses and move on. Circumstances and people change, and we often don't have control over what changes around us. But we can control how we respond, and as I just mentioned to my cousin who's having to deal with a family issue that shouldn't be, we can make ourselves insane trying to make sense of things nonsensical. It's not worth it.

I've learned that what happens in our lives is often an opportunity to grow, and while hindsight usually illuminates this, it's not always easy in the moment. However, my fears are usually unfounded or carry no weight. I don't have to create meaning where there isn't any, because the meaning I create isn't usually in my best interest. Mindfulness is important when change is imminent and I am paying attention, reflecting and planning.

Onward. Upward. ... Invest. In my well-being, my intellectual pursuits, relationships, creating my future... the list of what to explore is long, but it is also intentional.