Learning to coach

I am whole, resourceful, capable and creative. Is that right?

That statement is one of the basic tenets of life coaching - holding ourselves, our clients, and people in general as whole, resourceful, capable and creative.

Yet those four words just don't always stick and I find myself doing a mental double-take to make sure I've got it right.

So yes, I am studying to be a life coach. And right now, I have more questions than answers - which is actually kind of funny given that more questions than answers is exactly how I "should" be as a coach. But I'm speaking about my own experience. I currently have more questions than answers about how, where and with whom I want to apply the skills I'm now developing. And can I even do this?

Then there are the practical questions: How can I apply this to my current work? Makes sense to do that... since there really is some cross-over. How can I leverage that? Then, down the road, what kind of business do I want? What kind of clients do I want to work with and will they be attracted to what I offer? Do I come up with a business name? Or just use my name? What about a website, graphics, business cards, welcome letter... all those physical materials that let people know I'm in business? And then support that business.

But really, can I actually learn this stuff?

Sure, I kind of already do this. In a way, it's been my life's work. But this puts a new context and framework around my innate abilities in ways that are unfamiliar and  uncomfortable. As I discovered last night in a session with my own coach, I'm learning a new process and a new way of being about stuff I already know and do. Despite knowing that I need to be in this place of not knowing, I am not very patient with myself and feel that I should know how it all works... yesterday.

I found myself drawn to coaching while doing a life-design workshop last spring. I recognize that I have spent my life in this realm. It really is my life's work: exploring ways of being, delving deep through therapy, reading stories of adventurous truth seekers, creative visioning, studying belief systems and "alternative" lifestyles, following the journeys of unsung heroes and heroines. I am a good listener, naturally curious, and have been told often throughout my years that I would be a good therapist and have at times been asked to help with coping or problem solving. But I wasn't drawn to therapy, nor did I see any value or opportunity in the personal work I'd previously done. Sure, it was useful - to me. But could I use all this stuff I've explored, studied and practiced in a professional setting? It has a real purpose? What a great thing to discover.

At this stage in my life, I am definitely an expert in navigating life's twists and turns and managing the proverbial curve balls, as I have had many. I have been and felt victimized, and I have been a survivor. I have experienced profound loss throughout much of my life. All this experience has helped me to learn and thrive. And what I do know is that I want to help make a difference in the lives of others.

How many times did I wish there was someone there to help me navigate? I found my way, but there were times I desperately wanted some kind of support and didn't know how to find it. I grew up learning what it meant to be burdensome and didn't want to risk that with those I cared about (I still have a little bit of work to do here...). So I sought advice and insight from astrologers, psychics, therapists, spiritual leaders, reiki masters, numerologists, and countless others. They have come and gone and the one thing they had in common is that despite a possible intuitive sense, they didn't know me - and wouldn't. It wasn't that kind of relationship. They came from a particular life perspective and offered what they knew. But it wasn't enough. And wouldn't be. I wanted someone to know me, hear me, help me. Who better than me? Looking outside of myself wasn't working. I didn't want to be rescued; but I wanted to be heard and guided. I'm not sure I realized it then, as I do now, that I wanted help accessing my own inner wisdom - support based on my own needs and the idiosyncrasies that make me the unique person I am.

So this is what's driving me. The desire to be that person for someone else. In powerful, life changing ways. To be a partner to, a guide, a listener... a coach. Damn... Did you hear that? A coach. The idea of charging real dollars for this is a strange one to me. It feels like the kind of thing I would do for free. Like certain types of consulting and writing. But there are those who have means and are able and willing to pay, and if learn this well and get paid well, then I can be available to and offer this gift to others who maybe can't or don't have the same resources. I love that. I hope it works out that way.

I might just have to create it. Can I? I'm whole, capable, creative and resourceful. So if I don't know how, I'll just have to figure it out.