6 tips to find your flow when you're not feeling it

We all have days when life feels harder than it should be. 

Every moment feels clunky, projects are full of fits and starts, nothing quite comes together. Frustration might be a little high, patience a little thin. Creativity is stymied. We're discontent--our bodies heavy, our minds unclear.

There's no flow. 

You know it doesn't have to be this way... isn't usually this way. You know what "being in the flow" feels like, and ... sigh ... wouldn't it be nice if you could be there now? 

The 1990 bestseller, Flow, describes it as optimal experience, a state of consciousness producing genuine satisfaction. It's not what happens to us that shapes our experience, but instead it's how we respond, or what we make it mean (the stories we tell ourselves). Flow underscores our happiness. When we're in flow, time disappears. When we're not, the clock barely moves and it feels like we'll never find flow again. But we will, and with attention, we can get it back sooner rather than later.  

Here are a few steps to make it happen.  

1) Notice it and name it. If you can, identify what's causing it. Are you sleep deprived, angry, irritated, worried, sad, depressed? Spinning over an issue? Unsure what action to take next? Think through all the possibilities and see what fits. 

2) Take several deep breaths. Notice your posture and what's going on in your body. Where are you holding tension? Are you slouching? Is your breathing shallow? If you journal, take a few minutes to do some stream-of-consciousness writing and see what shows up. 

3) Do something different. Give yourself a time-out, go for a walk, work out, or try "forest bathing" in a nearby park. Shift your perspective by shifting your attention and flood your body with oxygen and feel-good endorphins. The natural environment can be a quick fix.  

4) Say no. Is there something you're saying yes to where you'd be better served by saying no? We say yes when we mean no more often than we're aware of. It's an important part of self-care easily forgotten. There's no guilt in saying no. 

5) Remember what's most important. Let go of what isn't. Think about those you love, your dreams, an upcoming vacation, a favorite pet, or new shoes, if that's your jam. Are you holding on to a resentment? A slight? A judgment? If you're spinning on something--a comment said in passing, a misguided email, an unsolicited opinion--acting on it could do more harm than good, so let it go. Not everything requires--or deserves--a response. Sometimes it's just not worth it. 

6) Practice gratitude (it always comes back to gratitude). Be grateful for the experience, the sensations... because without one, there's no other. Without pain, there's no joy. Without hate, love would feel different. Maybe the no-flow is a disguised blessing, causing you to rethink or shift gears.   

A bonus tip: forgiveness. Sometimes we have to forgive others and ourselves for being human, for allowing ourselves to stay stuck in whatever's keeping us from our flow. It can take time to truly identify the cause, sit with it, and then finally be willing to let it go. If you're lucky, it may just be a function of time, and the need for a good night's sleep. 

Whatever it is, if all else fails, repeat my mother's mantra: This too shall pass. You know it will; it always does. Flow comes and goes, and there are lessons to be gained from everything. 

So, take a deep breath, slow down, reflect, and give yourself permission to start again later. 

You've got this.