Busting up some aging myths

The perils of aging are largely myths.

"What makes people believe they don't have any power or control over what happens to them?" Forrest asked as we were chatting about older friends and family who are dealing with health challenges. We realized we were somewhat confounded by how little some of us seem to know and understand about our own health.

It struck me that we grow up conditioned to think that aging is negative, a bad thing. We learn:

• We'll get sick. 
• Our bones get weak. 
• Bodies give out. 
• Things break. 
• We won't be as vibrant. 
• Sex lives wane. 
• Memories fade. 

And so many more.
We accept them as fact.
We don't question.

Stuff happens, some of it preventable, some not, but either way, it doesn't mean we're without power to have an impact. So here are a few thoughts, as I consider my own journey.

We are not our genetics.

That list above? Not necessarily true... We are not our genetics, although we can be if we believe we are and act accordingly.

We can influence what happens to us, and what we believe and how we act can make all the difference. It's not to say they won't happen; as we age, the odds of developing ailments increases. We can't control all of our environmental influences.

Yet there is much within our control. Beliefs matter.

We are what we eat. 

The old adage, "we are what we eat," is actually pretty true. If we put junk in our bodies, we feel ... well, like junk.

What we consume makes a difference, no matter what our age, but we might feel the impacts more as we get older, as we whittle away our defenses. So many illnesses or conditions are considered preventable and are now linked to diet - Alzheimer's, diabetes, heart disease, to name just a few... Food also has a huge impact on brain function, how we feel emotionally and how much energy and strength we have. A few insights:

• Sugar - any type of sugar - contributes largely to inflammation, which is the root cause of many disorders and diseases. 
• Processed food is full of sugar and various chemicals (thousands of untested additives are on the FDA approved list for use in food!), and generally, the western diet is highly processed. 
• Sugar substitutes are even worse. Sodas, any type, are not helpful. Try sparkling water with a splash of juice, some bitters, or herbs for a refreshing alternative and to stay sufficiently hydrated.
• As so many food experts now advocate, and to paraphrase Michael Pollan, as I often do, eat real food, not too much, mostly plants. 
• Simple carbs like white flour or white rice are stripped of fiber and nutrients and quickly turn to sugar once ingested. A better option is whole grain; even better, the ancient grains. Grains in any form should be a small part of our diets; make sure your breads or cereals have just a few ingredients and you know what they are. 
• Potatoes and other starchy foods get a bad wrap, but they're actually nutrient dense. Add a little butter or sour cream and you're golden. Just eat sparingly. 
• Fat is good. Well, good fats are good. Fat is satisfying and helps our bodies use many of our vitamins.
• Lastly, conventional agriculture is pesticide- and antibiotic-heavy. If you can, know your producers, buy from a farmers market, shop the organic section or make smart purchases using the Clean 15 / Dirty Dozen lists.  

Use it or lose it...

While the research and thinking around exercise continues to change (how much, how often, how intense), the importance of moving our bodies has not. To thrive, we need to be active.

Sitting is one of the worst things we can do, and from my own experience, know it causes all kinds of less-than-fun discomforts. There's evidence now it can even shorten our lives, and certainly it contributes to countless ailments.

Sitting too much keeps me from running - temporarily (sing it: the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone... or a version there-of, in my case, sitting caused limited range of motion in my hips, underachieving glutes, overactive calves and impossibly tight Achilles tendons in both feet).

It's never too late to start moving. But if you haven't moved your body for a while, it's best to start slow. Yoga or stretching, strength and balance exercises, coupled with standing desks if you have a desk job are all essential to bone, muscle, mental and even emotional health.

     And then there's style...

I have no interest in getting old. That said, as we all are, I am aging. There's a big difference between old and aging. Unless I want to pay a small fortune, I can't do much about my sagging jaw line, but I don't have to look old, either. Good style never goes out of date.

Cosmetics, used strategically, dressing appropriately for your lifestyle (but throw away those "how to dress at any age" guides, especially if they tell you to change your style based on your age), and an updated hair style just feel good. I intend to stay relevant even when I'm an advanced age, and personal style shows you 'get it.'

...And lastly, life-long learning

Don't ever lose your curiosity. Challenge yourself. Even as a teenager, I recognized the value of "being comfortable being uncomfortable" with a wall poster reminding me at every look.

Explore. 

Travel.

Ask questions. 

Read. 

These keep us vibrant, relevant and engaged. Be deliberate and intentional. We can learn and grow from everything and we're never too old to learn something new. Brain science is growing exponentially and none of it suggests that we have to lose capacity as we age.

As 'anonymous' once stated (I wish I knew who really said this), "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, well-preserved body, but rather to skid broadside, thoroughly used up, and loudly proclaiming, 'wow, what a ride.'"

(If you like inspiring quotes, here's a pretty good selection.)


While this is hardly a comprehensive list (I didn't even mention play, laughter, or spending time in nature; oh, and don't smoke...) to help you age gracefully - or disgracefully, if you prefer, I think it busts a few of those myths I grew up hearing. Hope they do that for you, too.

Celebrating older women

I heard a story on our local NPR station recently that piqued my curiosity enough to explore further. New York photographer Ari Cohen has made it his mission to photograph style mavens over 60 on the streets of New York. Despite their advancing age (many are in their 80s and 90s), they're still very much embracing and celebrating life and themselves, and living out loud with what they wear.

Check it out here.

As a young girl, I was surrounded by interesting older women. Friends of my grandmother - Mary Swift and Mary McKagen (grandmother of Duff) - were stylish, creative, talented, outspoken, and both very prominent figures in my life at different times. A pale yellow skirt made from fine wool with exquisite detailing by Mrs. Swift was my introduction to couture at a very young age. Ms. McKagen's sense of humor stayed with her 'til her final days and my visits with her are unforgettable.

There was Hazel Schultz, a friend of my father who kept his memory alive for me. She was a hat model in the 1920s. The afternoon we spent in her attic opening hat box after hat box was my version of heaven at that moment. Already a hat collector, she sent me home with a couple dozen ranging from 1940s military style, 1950s pillboxes to 1960s mod and so many more. The stories behind those hats! If only I'd written them down...

My neighbors Mrs. Bean, Dorothy, Old Mrs. Wurm and the spinster Miss G (whose German last name was hard to pronounce) each had their own special style and made their contributions to the world and my life. I'm also lucky enough to have hats from each of them except Miss G, who insisted on wearing scarves to cover her thinning hair (one of those many things we potentially have to look forward to...).

My great aunt Vernis was my own Auntie Mame. Her laughter and zest for life were contagious, and she always maintained a positive outlook. When her second husband died after a long illness, she reconnected with her first husband who was still wildly in love with her. They remarried, and spent much of their final years together boating in the San Juan Islands. She drove a Cadillac, wore bright colors, always had her hair done, and never left the house without makeup. With no children of her own, she indulged me in meaningful ways. It was from her that I developed my love for vintage clothes, hats, gloves and handbags, playing dress-up with her lovely castoffs. She was a rare gift - so different than the others in my family.

These are just a few who have inspired me and who I could aspire to be like as I age.

I love it when stereotypes are smashed and cultural myths about aging defied. This becomes more important to me as I age and contemplate what aging means to me. One day I will be considered 'old' by societal standards. What does that look like? I certainly don't want to feel old. And I don't want my style to be dictated by my age - how I dress, the length of my skirt or how I wear my hair. And I really don't want collective expectations to hinder my ability to live as loudly and fully as possible.

What concepts about aging do you want to break?

By the way, I'm excited to note there's an Advanced Style documentary film in the works to be released sometime this year. I don't know any more details but if I hear of any, I'll post them here.