The power of words

So much of how we are in the world has to do with words. Our self-talk, our inner critic, our self-reflection. My inner critic has always been pretty vocal, and it's the negative words of my childhood (and a few past relationships) that often scream the loudest. Among them (but not limited to): "You're lazy." "You're smart, but you'll never amount to anything." "You're a fuck up." "You're selfish." "You're stupid."  "You have no talent." "You're boring."

So who exactly spoke those words? Family, teachers, parents of friends, and later, bosses, boyfriends and even my (now ex-) husband. Authority figures. Peers. Partners. Fallible people who didn't know the lasting impact of the words they chose, or thought their words might scare me "into shape."

But they didn't scare me into shape, and the words and what I made them mean stuck. They can loop around like a wheel with a hyperactive hamster running the show. The actual words are in large part forgotten, but what I made them mean and the words I replaced them with are not. I created my own vocabulary from my assumptions and interpretations, which then continually tripped me up and stopped me. Things like "you're not good enough;" "you don't deserve (insert desire - or even need - here)" and "you're not worthy." These lived within me as beliefs and stories that influenced much of my behavior and choices.

But I now know those beliefs and stories I created aren't true, and that the words and the meaning I gave them can also be replaced. But this time with empowering words that support me and give me the freedom to live my life according to my own voice.

My new vocabulary? I am dynamic, fiery, independent, and resoundingly capable. I am caring and generous, passionate and purposeful. I know that I'm valuable, and that the lessons of my early years help me to be empathetic and understanding. I have gained wisdom and insight that helps me help others. And these are all powerful, fabulous words, and very genuine.

Without question, I am courageous. I have walked through fears, shifted my views, and now, I am shaping my future.