For years I've tried to start my day with some form of meditation - be it straight up watching my breath, quieting my mind, or connecting with my inner voice / higher self / infinite wisdom (pick one - or more). There are times when I have success, and times when I don't. I haven't had much success lately.
Another thing I've tried consistently to do over the years is write daily morning pages, literally a page from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. I haven't had much success with that lately, either, but I do spend time writing. Just not completely stream-of-consciousness nor three entire pages. I've always wondered just how big her notebooks were. My current notepad holds an insane amount of words and three pages even stream-of-consciousness could take a good hour. More time than I typically have in the morning. Not being a morning person, I'm lucky if I have 20 - 30 minutes of quiet time before I have to get ready to lurch into my day.
So rather than continually fighting this and berating myself for it, I'm giving myself permission to be contemplative rather than meditative, and to write in fits and starts as I'm moved to do so rather than stream-of-consciousness. These new interpretations may in part defeat the original intention, but right now this has more value for me. This feels right.
I will write some, ponder, read a passage from a daily reader or two and repeat, in no particular order. I think my primary purpose in doing this practice is to connect in some way with my deepest self and /or a higher order and allow in the insights and guidance I feel so ready for that otherwise aren't readily available. If I accomplish this, even in part, it's worthwhile.
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