Uncharted waters: How to navigate uncertainty

We are—all of us—navigating uncharted waters. 

None of us has previously experienced a pandemic, nor the havoc wrought by an unmanaged, exponential crisis. 

The US has a national election coming up, and many of us are figuratively crossing all appendages that we get real leadership. However, while new leadership may get the immediate crises under control, the real truth is that no matter what the outcome, we have revealed our collective shadow side, and real change won't come from that proverbial top. It comes from us—from the front line, the activists, the advocates, the beleaguered, the passionate, the concerned... and the privileged. 

Our shadow side... 

Our shadow is largely hidden—often from ourselves, almost always from others. It's not the part of us we're proud of. 

It's our unconscious bias, our judgments, resentments, and often our fears, it's that little voice that says things in our heads that most of us would never say out loud ("Did I really just think that? OMG!). It's the learned behavior or societal conditioning that makes us think less of ourselves, or less of others. Or that we're better than. It's our inner mean girl (or boy). Our shadow is in part why some of us love horror films, watching train wrecks (hopefully figurative), or watching our frenemies implode. (Read more about our shadow here.)

We all have a shadow side. This is part of being human. 

Something we'll find within that shadow, something I'm just learning about, is that most of us are somewhere on a continuum of racism. This doesn't make us bad people. But it's on us to be courageous and own it, and challenge ourselves to unlearn and do different (as Maya Angelou said, when we know better, we do better). 

Calling myself racist is new for me, something I hadn't considered before. I've worked with people of color and from different ethnic backgrounds for much of my career. In my younger years, I dated boys or men of color. I befriended people who came from faraway places—even when that faraway place wasn't literal but cultural (desegregation, anyone?). My grandfather, even while using words we'd never use now, showed me what equity meant in practice. But none of that is showing up as anti-racist, the only alternative to racist. 

I'm still part of a system. 

I benefit from racist policies and practices, inadvertently perpetuating racism, and I sometimes stay quiet when speaking up could mean something.  

To truly be equitable, wise humans, we must accept and acknowledge our shadow--and our isms. Make visible that which is invisible. And then, while simple but not easy, we can heal, forgive, let go, move on, and truly be allies. We stop holding ourselves back, or holding others back (intentionally or not) because they're somehow different. 

Do better, be better...  

Over the last decade or so, we see more clearly pervasive white nationalism, vitriol, and intolerance, the fear of the unknown or 'the other'. The defects in our systems are more visible than ever: 

• the ever-growing gap between rich and poor in our economic system 
• disproportionate spending in our healthcare system only to achieve outcomes far below all industrialized countries
• inequitable education systems that fail our kids
• food and environmental systems degraded for personal gain
• to name just a few 

We see how these systems and the policies defining them are intricately connected. Cracks in our systems are now floodgates. 

This is probably a good thing, even though it doesn't feel like it.  

Cautious optimism

While things fall apart quickly, the upward spiral takes longer. Real, meaningful change happens slowly, usually in increments. 

I am cautiously optimistic. Like MLK, I know the "arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." There are many good people doing really great work, but we have to look for it.  

Here are some examples: 

• The entire global scientific community has come together to find remedies and vaccines for the novel coronavirus; they anticipate having a vaccine in record time
• Forces collided and the Black Lives Matter movement gained momentum and support from unusual allies; my employer just committed to becoming anti-racist, and many others are doing the same, recognizing the reality of systemic racism and micro-aggression in the workplace
• People with big platforms are speaking out against factory farming
• Scientists, doctors, and health professionals are showing up as heroes and garnering huge social media followings 
• The world of work is changing for a lot of us, becoming more employee-centric, focused on employee experience

So, how to navigate all this... 

The times we're in are not for the faint of heart, because all-things-good require our effort and support. But, as I continue to learn, we can do hard things (thanks to Glennon Doyle for that oft-repeated mantra and hashtag, #wecandohardthings). 

Now's the time to stay centered and focused on what matters most so when we emerge on the other side of this, we'll be better than we were before, smarter, more innovative, more capable, more empathetic, more resilient, contributing to a more equitable, sustainable world for all of us, not just some of us. 

While there's no easy way, here are a few things I do to help me through. Maybe they'll help you, too.   

• Hold a vision: What do you want our world or your life to look like, personally and for people and planet—it's OK if more peace in the world or within your insides is all you can come up with; it's a place to start
• Plan something: Have a plan, a goal, an aspiration, or a dream, and commit to it—even if it's just getting up every day, and showing up
• Check and adjust: Change direction, your thinking, or your actions when you have new information, and be willing to listen (really listen!) to ideas and opinions different from your own 
• Pay attention: The winds continually shift and you may need to stand firm or change; you'll know  
• Prepare: Because anything can happen, anticipate the options and know what you need to get through, whatever "it" is, physically, mentally, or emotionally
• Ask for help: While we can go through life single-handing, we're better together; let others contribute by asking for help, or get out of the way
• Know what's yours: We can't be all things to all people, so look for what you can do and know when it's someone else's turn to take the helm
• Stay steady: Take regular, consistent steps, even if small, that move you closer to what you want to see, be, or do
• Enjoy fair winds: Seek out the good—take a break from the news, spend time in nature, breathe, move your body, and find joy in moments

The Chinese curse, "may you live in interesting times" feels rather relevant, as 2020 certainly has felt cursed at times. And, we get to be part of something that's so much bigger than we are, that hopefully will make the world a better place for future generations. 

Whether you're out there making change in the world around you, or working on small changes at home, it doesn't matter. It all counts. Being the best "you" that you can be has ripple effects that benefit everyone. 

Change happens when systems and people breakdown. Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs, and while in many ways, we're alone, together, none of us is really alone in this. We've got this. It's worth it. #wecandohardthings 
 

If you like this post or this blog resonates with you in any way, please feel free to subscribe (see right column), share it, comment below, or send me a message. I'm also available for one-on-one coaching—you can find me here.